


you're just a daydream away

by plastic--hearts (paperxvalentines)



Category: ASTRO (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Angst with a Happy Ending, Denial of Feelings, Dialogue Heavy, Friends to Lovers, M/M, Minor Kim Myungjun | MJ/Park Jinwoo | Jin Jin, Minor Lee Dongmin | Cha Eunwoo/Moon Bin, Rated teen for language, Soulmates, also kinda slow burn??, dongmin doesn't show up until much later sorry, very slow updates
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-10-12
Updated: 2018-08-16
Packaged: 2019-01-16 07:56:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 17
Words: 20,983
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12338589
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/paperxvalentines/pseuds/plastic--hearts
Summary: Every night, Minhyuk relives snippets of his soulmate's day. He's content from watching from afar, scared of the idea of being linked to a tall, clumsy boy for, well, forever.Doesn't he know that he can't run from destiny forever?





	1. intro

Minhyuk didn’t _hate_ having a soulmate. He didn’t _hate_ seeing glimpses into another person’s life every night, another person he was destined to share his life with.  


He just… Disliked it. He had heard stories about how his friends knew their soulmates would be perfect for them just thanks to those little snippets of their daily lives but he had never felt the same way about his own soulmate. From what Minhyuk had gathered about his soulmate, he couldn’t really dance as he was too lanky and clumsy. Dancing was Minhyuk’s number one passion in life - hell, he liked it so much that he even chose to get a degree in it. On top of that, his soulmate couldn’t tolerate the same amount of spice in his food as Minhyuk could. He was also loud and obnoxious most of the time, which was something Minhyuk _knew_ he would hate. It was a relationship doomed for failure.  


Minhyuk doesn’t get why Moon Bin couldn’t have been his soulmate. Bin, his roommate, with whom he had so many common interests: dancing, eating, working out… Basically all the things Minhyuk enjoyed doing. In the romantic sense, obviously, he didn't feel anything for Bin, but being platonic soulmates would've suited him just fine. They got along well and even managed to live together fairly harmoniously.  


Obviously, if Minhyuk was to really think about it, Bin was obnoxious at times, too. He knew to what point Minhyuk was fed up with his soulmate’s antics, which only caused him to constantly ask about him.  


Take that morning, for instance. As they got ready to head to the gym together, Bin teasingly asked, “How did you sleep?” knowing fully well what the nature of his roommate’s response was going to be.  


Minhyuk rolled his eyes, not even bothering to look up at Bin as he ran a hand through his brown hair and replied, “I can’t believe I’m stressed even when I sleep. Seriously, Bin, I don’t know how anyone can be that clumsy.”  


Bin snorted, shooting a glance down at Minhyuk, who was sitting on the floor of their dorm and putting on mismatched socks. “At least your dreams are exciting. All I ever see are textbooks.” Bin then shook his head as he put his water bottle into his green drawstring bag. “Actually, no. A couple nights ago, I saw parts of the new minions movie. _Minions_.”  


“I’d take minions over my dreams any day,” Minhyuk muttered as he pulled on his shoes and did the laces.  


“What did he do this time?”  


“Just-” Minhyuk winced slightly as he recalled the parts of his dream - or rather, the parts of his soulmate’s day. “He just- Watching him interact with people is painful. I can't believe these awkward interactions are the highlights of his day.”  


Bin shrugged, now busying himself with putting a change of clothes in his bag. “Not everyone can be as cool as you, Minhyuk.”  


Minhyuk rolled his eyes. “Tell me something I don’t know.” He then sighed and continued, “I wish my _soulmate_ could be, though. If I’m destined to have him in my life, whether it’s platonically or romantically… I would rather him be cool.”  


“Oh, Minhyuk.” Bin tutted at him. “You don’t even know the kid.”  


Minhyuk knew Bin was right, but he would never admit it out loud. Instead, he just grunted something in response and carried on with getting ready.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hello hello!
> 
>  
> 
> this has been in my drafts forever - I figured if I don't post it now, I'll never end up posting it. anyways, here goes my first multi-chapter astro fic! 
> 
>  
> 
> I hope you all enjoy it!! find me on [tumblr](http://cigarettes-and-plastic-hearts.tumblr.com/) and let's talk about socky & soulmate aus bc they make me _weak_.


	2. talent show

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> When he finished and bowed as much as his guitar would allow him too, Minhyuk clapped a little louder than he did for the other performers. If anyone was to ask about it, well, he would just say that he thought talent should be acknowledged.

_ A laugh shook his chest, hand coming up to his mouth to muffle the noise. He looked away from the boy sitting beside him to the teacher at the front of the room, and let his hand fall away when he realised she, thankfully, hadn’t heard him. _

_ “It wasn’t even that funny!” his neighbour mumbled, clearly trying to suppress his own laughter. _

_ “But it was!” he giggled again before ducking his head to continue his work. _

 

Some days, Minhyuk woke up with a smile on his face. His soulmate, albeit annoying and clumsy and loud, was sweet and laughed loudly, thoroughly enjoying even the stupidest of jokes.

However, he’d wipe the smile off his face immediately and go about his day, forcing the sound of his soulmate’s laughter out of his mind. He had better, more important things to worry about anyways, like meeting his friends. Minhyuk’s favourite time of the week, other than his dance classes, was probably when Bin and he’d have lunch with their friends Jinwoo and Myungjun. Obviously, he’d never admit it out loud, but he was very fond of the older two. They had helped Bin and him navigate through the college during their first few weeks and, somewhere along the line, they got upgraded from ‘advice-giving acquaintances’ to ‘good friends’.

That particular afternoon, the weather was nice so they were sitting at one of the square stone tables outside their campus’ food court. Bin had his phone in one hand and his chopsticks in the other, haphazardly shoving food in his mouth as he stared at the screen. Minhyuk rolled his eyes as he took a bite out of his own food. To his left, Myungjun was talking about something he’d learnt in his acoustics class to Jinwoo, who was giving him his undivided attention, as usual.

Sometimes, Myungjun and Jinwoo would soften Minhyuk up to the idea of soulmates. It wasn’t anything they said, but more the way they acted. They acted more like best friends than boyfriends, which was something Minhyuk liked. When he first met them, he would never have guessed that they had been dating for three years, and definitely not that they were  _ actual _ soulmates. 

Suddenly, Bin grinned, catching Minhyuk’s attention. He watched as Bin put his chopsticks down in order to frantically type something into his phone. He then swallowed the food he had in his mouth and looked up at his three friends. “Sua was one of the students at her high school chosen to represent them in some sort of talent show,” he told them, pride evident in his voice. “Do you guys want to come with me? It’s this Saturday.”

Bin often talked about his younger sister, Sua. The two of them were close, much closer than one would’ve probably guessed, and he was undeniably her biggest fan and supporter. 

Minhyuk mentally went through his upcoming plans as he chewed, then swallowed when he figured he’d be free and nodded. “Yeah, that could be fun.”

Jinwoo pondered the question for a moment as well before agreeing. “I’m free, too.”

“I’d love to come!” Myungjun exclaimed, a little louder than necessary, but Minhyuk noticed that Bin seemed to appreciate it, if his small smile was anything to go by.

“Okay, great! I’ll let her know!” he exclaimed, before tapping away at his phone again. “I’m sure she’ll love to see all of you.”

Myungjun nodded. “We can finally prove to her that you aren’t a loser with no friends. Then again though, I’m not sure about the loser part… Hmm, maybe just a loser  _ with _ friends, then.”

Even though it wasn’t all that funny, Jinwoo let out a loud laugh, causing Myungjun to beam at him, and Bin just pouted while Minhyuk smirked.

“I’m never inviting you guys anywhere again,” Bin threatened, only eliciting more laughs from the other three.

 

The day of the talent show came pretty quickly, and soon enough, Minhyuk was standing in an auditorium chock-full of overly eager parents and chattering students. He didn’t particularly want to be there, but he knew it would make Bin happy, and he cared about that more than he cared to be antisocial.

Bin lead his three friends to where his parents were sitting, and after short introductions, they took their seats. Minhyuk sat down between Bin and Myungjun, stretching out his legs under the seat in front of him as he tried to get comfortable. The lights dimmed a couple minutes later and the chatter in the room fell into silence as the first high school was announced.

Finally, two schools later, Sua’s school was announced, and Bin let out a loud hoot, causing his mother to shush him halfheartedly. The first performer was a pianist, and while it sounded nice, Minhyuk didn’t care much for classical music.

Then came Sua, trailed by two other girls. She introduced them and the song she would dance to, something by a group called Dreamcatcher that Minhyuk had never heard of. The music started, and Minhyuk couldn’t lie: he was awed. Clearly being the main dancer, she executed the choreography with grace and precision, and it was obvious that she shared Bin’s affinity for dance. When she struck her final pose, the four friends waited a beat before getting to their feet and cheering loudly, ignoring the dirty looks they were getting from people sitting around them. Sua giggled and shook her head at their fanfare before bowing and walking off the stage with the two other girls.

The last performer for Sua’s high school was a tall brunet with an acoustic guitar slung behind his back and a mic stand in his hand. Another boy, presumably a fellow student, was behind him with much shorter mic stand. The two of them set the mics up quickly: one for the brunet to sing into and the other to amplify the guitar. Once the other student was gone, the tall boy swung his guitar in front of him, introduced himself as Yoon Sanha, a senior, and explained that he would be performing a song by Eddy Kim.

Minhyuk thought the kid was talented: he had a sweet voice, and Minhyuk knew nothing about the guitar, but he thought Sanha played very well. When he finished and bowed as much as his guitar would allow him too, Minhyuk clapped a little louder than he did for the other performers. If anyone was to ask about it, well, he would just say that he thought talent should be acknowledged.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "tall brunet with an acoustic guitar" wow yes v subtle amirite  
> anyhow, it's been a minute since I last updated. that being said, I won't wait this long for the next update, I promise!
> 
> hmu on [tumblr](http://cigarettes-and-plastic-hearts.tumblr.com/) let's talk about how I wrote this in august and predicted sanha going back to brown


	3. nicknames

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Minhyuk awoke with a start, heart racing. He had seen his soulmate, had been allowed to glimpse into part of his soulmate’s life without having been asleep.

_ He angled the mic in front of his face higher so that he could speak into it comfortably before beginning with his introduction. “Hello, my name is… And I will be performing The Manual by Eddy Kim. I hope you all enjoy it.” _

_ The auditorium was filled to the brim, and he could feel his fingers trembling as he began strumming. Thankfully, he was able to execute the hammer-ons without too much trouble, and by the time the chorus rolled around, he felt much more comfortable in the spotlight. _

_ When he finished the song, he thanked the crowd and bowed, before exiting the stage with the taller mic stand in hand, his smile causing his cheeks to ache. _

 

Minhyuk awoke with a start, heart racing. 

After blinking a couple times and waking up fully, he rolled onto his back, rubbed a hand over his face and into his hair, tugging at the strands ever so slightly before letting his arm fall above his head. Taking a deep breath, he turned his head to try and look at the digital clock on Bin’s bedside dresser. He could make out the last two digits, neon green numbers which weren’t very helpful, so with a groan, he reached for his phone on the dresser beside his own bed.

3:28AM. He sighed, putting his phone back down, and closed his eyes. He rolled onto his stomach, struggling a bit with the blanket that had gotten caught under his body, before letting out a long breath. He would deal with the implications of the dream tomorrow. Right now, he needed to sleep.

But of course, sleep doesn’t ever come when you ask it to. So Minhyuk lay there, tossing and turning for another hour as his mind raced. He had seen his soulmate. More than just seen, if he thought about it: he had heard his soulmate sing, had been allowed to glimpse into part of his soulmate’s life without having been asleep. He had even found out his soulmate’s name:  _ Yoon Sanha _ .

Was he making a bigger deal out of this than it should be? After all, he had to meet his soulmate at some point, right? If he was to freak out every time he saw his soulmate in person, well, he wouldn’t make it very far.

After another half hour of pointless questioning, he finally started drifting off into dreamland again. His last conscious thought was about his soulmate’s age, and whether or not he’d see him again soon.

\--

 

Minhyuk had told Bin about the dream morning after it occurred. As expected, Bin had laughed and Minhyuk had whined about his unfortunate arrangement.

It took him a few days, though, to tell Myungjun and Jinwoo about his discovery. It wasn’t that he didn’t want to, but more due to the fact that the opportunity never arose until one afternoon when the three of them were sitting in the campus’ coffee shop, waiting for Bin to get out of his economics class so they could head out to see a movie in the nearby theatre.

“So, let me get this straight… That  _ stringbean  _ is your soulmate?”

Minhyuk nodded, looking past Myungjun and out the window behind him. The three friends were sitting at a table tucked away in a corner beside one of the big windows that covered nearly every wall, overlooking a small grassy patch between the cafe and another dorm building. He eyed students walking to and fro, laughing, chatting, or just engrossed in their own little world. He envied the ones that looked carefree.

Myungjun then burst out laughing, earning himself a few looks from other students in the cafe, and Minhyuk redirected his attention to him. “Oh, man! When you said he was awkward, you definitely meant it.”

“Guys, come on,” Jinwoo sighed, a voice akin to that of a disappointed father. His hands were clasped around his hot paper cup. “Being on stage can be scary. We don’t know if that was his first time on a stage or not. He also happened to do a good job.”

Minhyuk felt a pang of guilt in his chest when he looked over at Jinwoo. “Yeah, okay. Fine.”

“You didn’t think he was good?”

“I did,” Minhyuk admitted, eyes shifting away from Jinwoo’s gaze as he took a sip of his iced tea. “But…”

“But what?” Jinwoo asked, voice soft, and looked at Minhyuk with curious eyes. 

Minhyuk shook his head. “I just- I’ve been having these dreams since I was 13. I feel like- I feel like I’d know if I wanted this person around all the time, at this point. And when I saw him, it just… I didn’t feel anything.”

“You don’t necessarily have to have him around all the time. The term soulmate doesn’t mean you guys are attached at the hip,” Jinwoo pointed out. “Hell, there are many cases where it’s an entirely platonic thing. That’s the case with my brother and his best friend.”

Minhyuk gave him a look. “You know what I meant.”

“Jinwoo’s right, though,” Myungjun piped up. His expression was serious, an uncommon occurrence for the eldest of their friend group. “Plus, you don’t know him yet. Everyone knows that those 'love at first sight' stories are bullshit. All you know about his social interactions are _his_ side. Once you guys meet and start interacting on a daily basis, you’re going to start seeing him from a different perspective - you're going to start seeing him through _your_ own eyes, and that might make all the difference.”

Minhyuk pondered Myungjun’s words for a moment, lips absently wrapped around his straw. “Do you think so?” he finally asked.

“You’re not soulmates for no reason, Rocky,” Myungjun chuckled, shaking his head. “I’m positive you’ll understand why you got him once you actually meet the person behind the dreams.”

“Okay, I’m sorry to interrupt,” Jinwoo then said before Minhyuk could answer, and turned in his seat a bit so he could face Myungjun head on. “I heard Bin use it earlier and now I'm confused. Since when is ‘Rocky’ a thing?”

“Since a few days ago.” Myungjun shrugged, leaning forward and taking a sip of his drink. “Bin came up with it because Minhyuk is so dependable. He’s our rock. Also, he’s always stone-faced.” Myungjun then laughed, smacking Jinwoo’s arm gently as he realised something. “Except when it comes to dramas, gosh Jinwoo, you should _see_ this boy get emoti-”

“We don’t talk about that!” Minhyuk exclaimed, eyes wide.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I really should start updating more frequently if my chapters are gonna be this short
> 
> as always, find me on [tumblr](http://cigarettes-and-plastic-hearts.tumblr.com/). let's chat


	4. texts

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Rocky, oh my god,” Bin started. Rocky already knew he didn’t like where this was going. “You know what you should do?”

After that afternoon in the coffee shop, however, the nickname stuck. Everyone began calling him Rocky, and somewhere along the line Minhyuk even started referring to himself by the nickname. It was fitting, after all, and he rather liked it.

 

The following weekend, Bin and Rocky were on the grassy quad of their college, basking in the sunlight. Rocky was lying down with his eyes closed and was listening to the music playing out of their speaker, trying to imagine up a choreography for it, while Bin did some homework or the other. Probably for his economics class, judging by his occasional groan of frustration.

Suddenly, Bin snapped his book shut, causing Rocky to open one eye and look over at him with a twinge of annoyance. Bin’s eyes were wide and twinkling with a bad idea.

“Rocky,  _ oh my god _ ,” Bin started. Rocky already knew he didn’t like where this was going. “You know what you should do?”

Rocky wasn't sure he wanted to know. “Hmm?”

“You should talk to Sua!”

Rocky then opened both eyes and frowned. “About…?”

“Your soulmate! Sanha, wasn't it?”

Rocky nodded to get him to continue, unsure of where this was going. There was a reason he hadn't wanted to know what was going on in Bin’s mind.

“Well, Sua and he clearly go to the same high school,” Bin continued, clearly getting more excited. “She might know something about him.”

“Bin…”

Bin raised a hand, silently telling Rocky to stop talking. “I know you're not interested, but give it a shot. You never know what you could find out.”

Rocky pondered it for a moment. Since the night of the performance dream, he had been having so many dreams about his soulmate talking about him. His soulmate was clearly shaken up yet happy about the fact that Rocky had seen him perform, if his excited blabbering was anything to go off.

Maybe Rocky could give it a shot. After all, he had nothing to lose.

“Okay,” he sighed, pushing himself up into a seated position with reluctance. “Give me Sua’s number.”

Bin’s smile never left his face as he texted his sister’s number to Rocky and watched him compose a text.

 

**_Minhyuk_ **

_hey Sua, it’s Bin’s friend_ _Rocky_ _Minhyuk._

_ this is random, but my soulmate goes to your high school. I was wondering if you knew anything abt him _

 

**_Sua_ **

_ hey Minhyuk! _

_ im happy to help. whats his name? _

 

**_Minhyuk_ **

_ Yoon Sanha _

 

**_Sua_ **

_ i kind of know him _

_ hes a year older than me _

_ very into music. he sang at the showcase, but i think you already know that _

 

**_Minhyuk_ **

_ Yeah _

 

**_Sua_ **

_ hes very loud, always laughing with his friends _

_ hes sweet tho _

_ every interaction ive had with him has been friendly _

 

**_Minhyuk_ **

_ Well I guess that's good _

 

“Wow, don't sound so enthusiastic!” Bin, who had been reading over Rocky’s shoulder, commented. Rocky just rolled his eyes as he read Sua’s response.

 

**_Sua_ **

_ hahah i guess _

_ tbh i dont know much abt him otherwise _

_ hes kind of awkward too _

 

**_Minhyuk_ **

_ That, I know. See it every night _

 

**_Sua_ **

_ could be worse tbh _

_ anyway _

_ idk what else to say _

_ do u have a specific question abt him? _

 

**_Minhyuk_ **

_ Uh, not really _

 

“Ask about what he likes to do!”

“Music, Bin,” Rocky sighed. “Besides, it’s clear that she barely knows him.”

 

**_Sua_ **

_ ok! just shoot me a txt if u need anything more :) _

_ ill also keep an eye out for things to tell u abt him _

 

**_Minhyuk_ **

_ Thanks Sua _

 

He pocketed his phone despite Bin’s protests and lay back down, closing his eyes. Bin huffed and jabbed him in the side, trying to get him to ask some more questions, but Rocky just ignored him.

Sanha liked music, which was something he probably could’ve guessed. Rocky briefly wondered what genres before shoving the thought away. There were other things, more pressing things that he had to worry about, like coming up with a choreography or getting Bin to shut up about his homework.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I rushed to class this morning just to find out that it was cancelled, so I decided to update a fic instead of going back to bed. priorities, amirite?
> 
> hmu on [tumblr](https://cigarettes-and-plastic-hearts.tumblr.com) bc I've come to the conclusion that I need new friends


	5. meeting day

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rocky really should've expected the first dream - he had actively tried to find out more about his soulmate, after all, for the first time ever.   
> Nothing could've really prepared him for the second one, though.

Rocky really should’ve expected the dream he had two nights later.

 

_ “Hi, you’re Sua, right?” _

_ The long haired girl looked up, eyes widening slightly in surprise. “Yeah, that’s me.” _

_ “Hi! Okay, this is going to sound a little weird, but… You- You know my soulmate.” _

_ Sua chuckled and nodded. “Yeah, I do.” _

_ Sanha let out a breath. “Oh my god. Can I- Can you tell me about him?” _

_ “I don’t know much about him…” Sua was hesitating. “I don’t know if I should.” _

_ “Sua,  _ please _ , can you tell me his name at least?” _

_ Sua sighed, before giving him an almost fond smile. “Okay, fine, fine. It's Minhyuk.” _

_ “Minhyuk,” Sanha repeated, feeling a smile grow on his face. _

 

So, his soulmate knew his name. He figured it was only fair, after all, he knew  _ his _ name. He ignored the strange feeling in the pit of his stomach, shoving away thoughts about how their meeting day is probably approaching.

Bin, obviously, had other plans.

“Sua told me that she talked to Sanha,” he mentioned a day later as they were making their way to the dance building. Rocky glared at his friend, not wanting to reply - not that it deterred Bin in any way. “You know, they say that when soulmates start learning about one another, that means their meeting day is soon.”

“I know, Bin.”

“You know a lot about Sanha.”

“Yes, Bin.”

“You guys are probably going to meet soon, Min.”

Rocky groaned. “Can you stop?” he snapped. “I don’t care. I don’t want to meet him. Not now, not soon. I just want to go to class, I want to learn that- that goddamn footwork that I just can’t get a grasp on, and I want to go a day without hearing his name. Just  _ one day. _ ”

Rocky’s words caused Bin to stop in his tracks and stare at him as he stormed into the building, throwing the door open with much more force than necessary.

The shorter boy didn’t care, though. He didn’t want to deal with his soulmate. He knew he shouldn’t have texted Sua, shouldn’t have indulged Bin and his hopeless romantic streak. 

\----

_ His hands trembled as he unlocked a mailbox, the name on it blurred out. He reached inside tentatively and pulled out a few white envelopes. Without bothering to close the mailbox just yet, he thumbed through the envelopes before stopping on one, taking a deep breath and pulling it out of the stack. He put the others down on the ledge below the block of mailboxes, made specifically for moments like these, and began tearing through the paper. He held his breath as he pulled out the inside and unfolded the paper. _

**_Mr. ####_ **

**_Congratulations! We are pleased to inform you that you have been accepted into the Conservatory of Music at Korea National University of Arts._ **

_ He couldn't even read further. The paper crumpled a bit as his grip tightened, and he smacked a hand over his mouth. After a moment of shock, he let his hand drop to his side and felt his lips begin to turn up into a wide smile. _

_ With fumbling hands, he quickly locked the mailbox and scooped up the other envelopes before rushing for the stairs.  _

_ He burst through his front door, but his shoulders fell when he realised no one was home. _

 

The sound of Bin’s alarm cut through Rocky’s dream, causing him to jerk awake. With a loud groan, he pulled his dark blue bedsheets away from his face. He rubbed his eyes to then peered over at his roommate, still sound asleep despite the shrill sound, and sighed. It took him a moment to build up the strength to haul himself out of bed and turn off Bin’s alarm. Honestly, Bin should start paying him. He would never be on time for any class - or any _ thing _ \- if it wasn't for Rocky. 

“Get the hell up, Bin,” he muttered, pulling the red and white striped sheets away before beginning to vigorously shake his friend by the shoulder. If they had any onlookers, it might've seemed entirely too harsh, but there literally wasn't any other way to wake Bin up.

Bin just groaned and turned his back to Rocky, causing the shorter boy to swear under his breath and shake him again. “Bin, you lazy piece of shit, I’m going to cancel my request to room with you again next semester.”

“You don't have anyone else,” Bin muttered sleepily, and Rocky just knew he had a smug smirk on his face.

“I do actually: my  _ literal _ soulmate,” Rocky snapped, not ceasing his shaking. “Now get up before I actually do cancel the request.”

Rocky was glad that worked. Bin immediately turned around and sat up, hair sticking up at odd angles and crease marks on his cheeks. “ _ What? _ ”

“He’s coming here next year.” Rocky had no intention to take the conversation any further.

Bin rubbed his eyes before yawning. “Oh my god.”

Rocky nodded but didn’t say anything more as he climbed back into bed and turned his back to his roommate, thankful that he didn’t have to actually get up for another hour. Bin, as usual, had other plans about how he wanted the conversation to go.

“So, what are you going to do?” he asked, and Rocky heard the sound of the other bed creak, which either meant he lay back down, or he actually got up. 

Thankfully, when Rocky turned around to look, he saw that it was the latter. “I don’t know. It’s in three months, I don’t have to think about it now.”

“Rocky. You’re going to find him when he comes, right?” Bin persisted. “Shit, I told you your meeting day was going to be soon.”

“Bin, I don’t  _ know… _ ” After a moment of silence, Rocky murmured, “He’s going to be in the music conservatory.”

Bin’s eyes widened. “Jinwoo and Myungjun are both in the conservatory! That’s perfect!”

Rocky shrugged. He hadn’t forgotten his outburst from the other day. Of course, he had apologised for going off on Bin, but that didn’t mean his feelings had changed. He didn’t care to find his soulmate.

Thankfully, the conversation did end there when Bin realised what time it was. He quickly threw some clothes on and left the room to use the communal bathroom while Rocky just rolled back over and pulled the sheets over his head, determined to get that extra hour of sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯ well, damn.
> 
> as always, find me on [Tumblr](http://cigarettes-and-plastic-hearts.tumblr.com) for more fics and just general fangirling bs.


	6. anxious

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "You can always delay meeting him, at least until you’re ready for it. Take all the time in the world, Min."

As much as Rocky wanted to forget that his soulmate was going to the same college as him, he couldn't. For weeks following the acceptance letter, he was reminded nearly every night of how happy his soulmate was, of how excited he was to get to college. Rocky tried to ignore the multiple  _ “My soulmate goes there, too!” _ he had heard during those dreams.

Now, Rocky wasn’t usually a person who let little things get to him. He pretty much went through life unbothered, neither stressing nor worrying about trivial matters. If there was nothing he could do about a situation, why let it get to him?

However, the thought of meeting his soulmate was looming over him like a black cloud. It followed him everywhere he went during the day and, at night, he saw the other side of the story. 

Bin, after having lived with Rocky for a year, knew the boy fairly well. Therefore it was no surprise when he caught on to his friend’s weird behaviour and finally confronted him when they were hanging out at his house, playing video games.

“Rocky, I don’t know where your mind is, but it certainly isn’t here,” Bin stated, placing the controller down on the centre table, and turned to look at the other boy.

Rocky’s eyes were trailed on the screen but he wasn’t really looking at it. He just hummed absently in response.

“What’s going on?” Bin sighed.

“Nothing.”

Bin then huffed, reaching over to shake his friend by the shoulder. “Don't lie to me.”

Rocky was quiet for a moment, and Bin was about to shake him again when he finally spoke. “I can’t stop thinking about meeting Sanha,” he admitted in a small voice, breaking his eyes away from the screen to look at Bin.

Bin gave him a small smile and squeezed his shoulder. “That’s normal.”

“But… But it’s  _ not.  _ I’m not excited about it.” Rocky noticed Bin’s frown and sighed. “I’m more… Anxious, I guess. More anxious than excited.”

Bin had to pick his next words carefully. He didn't want Rocky to think that he was invalidating his feelings, but at the same time, he wanted his friend to understand that it wasn't going to be the end of the world. “You know… I don’t really… I don’t get what you have against the notion of soulmates,” he finally murmured softly, eyes soft as he looked at the boy sitting beside him. “I understand why some people would hate it, but- but you’ve never told me why you do.”

Rocky sighed, putting his controller down beside Bin’s before moving back on the couch to make himself comfortable. “I’m not against the idea of soulmates,” he stated clearly. “I- I actually quite like the idea of having a companion through life, someone who’s supposed to stick around you through thick and thin…” He ignored the fond look Bin gave him and continued talking, picking at lint on the old brown couch to avoid facing his friend with a blush painting his cheeks. “However, at this point in my life, I’m just… I’m good  _ alone _ . I feel like there’s so much pressure to be in a romantic relationship with your soulmate and from what I know, that’s not going to be the case for me.” He ignored Bin's scoff and continued. “I don’t want that pressure. If I’m going to feel something towards him, I want those feelings to be real and not stemming from pressure to feel a certain way. Does that make sense?”

When Rocky finally looked up at Bin, the other nodded. “Yeah, it does. And I think all of your current feelings are completely reasonable and valid.”

Rocky shrugged, eyes going back to the couch. “Myungjun said something a while ago about how I don’t really know Sanha, so I can’t judge yet.” Suddenly, another train of thought made its way into Rocky’s mind, causing him to scrunch up his face as he dug deeper into it. “Do you think he knows me?”

“Well, didn’t you say he had asked Sua for your name?”

“Yeah, but… That’s all he knows, right?” Rocky frowned as his eyes met Bin’s. “In the dreams, people’s faces are always a little blurry, so you never know for sure. The only way I know what he looks like is because I saw him in person…”

Bin shrugged. “He might not know what you look like, Min. That could be a good way to delay meeting him, at least until you’re ready for it.”

Rocky nodded. “Yeah. But as I was saying, MJ said I shouldn't judge him. I'm not trying to, not  _ really _ , but Bin… It’s hard. We’re so damn different.”

“Hey. Don't stress, okay?” Bin offered Rocky a comforting smile and reached over to squeeze his shoulder again. “As I said. Take all the time in the world, Min. 

In a way, Bin’s words had helped. Running away from problems usually wasn’t a way to solve them, but in this case, Rocky figured it wouldn’t really hurt all that much. He would meet Sanha, on his own terms. He could deal with that.

Probably.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this is kinda short but I'm on the bus home so I figured I'd kill some time! I'm so excited to go home and see my dogs... and my family, too, I guess. (jk)
> 
> as always, hmu on [tumblr](http://cigarettes-and-plastic-hearts.tumblr.com/). I'll send you pics of my dogs.


	7. surprise visits

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> With his back facing the door, Rocky couldn’t recognise the person sitting beside Myungjun. It wasn't like he really cared to figure out who the pink haired person was, anyways.  
> He should've known better.

Summer came and went quickly, much to everyone’s dismay, and soon enough the four friends were once again reunited. This time around, the four of them were living together in a suite: Myungjun and Jinwoo’s room was across the little living room from Rocky and Bin’s. The way Rocky saw it, it could either go phenomenally well, or the entire thing could go up in flames -  _ literally _ .

 

As for Sanha, Rocky did everything he could to delay them meeting. He checked the student rosters for all his classes, steered clear of first year events, and  _ definitely  _ avoided staying in the main cafeteria for too long. Every time he’d walk with Bin to the dance building and spot a cluster of students that looked new or unfamiliar, he’d duck behind his taller friend or force them to walk a different way. Bin would complain, but he was too good a friend to not comply.

 

“Rocky, I know I told you to take your time, but at the end of the day, it’s kind of inevitable,” Bin muttered when Rocky kept it up even after the third week came to its end. “You’re going to meet him at some point.”

Rocky didn’t want to whine - they were in public, for god’s sake - but he did. “I don’t want to see him,” Rocky answered, kicking at a stray pebble in his path. He then sighed, looking up at their dorm building that was coming up in front of them. “I don’t want a boyfriend.”

Bin shook his head, pulling his key out when it became apparent that Rocky wasn’t going to. “Are we really going to have this conversation  _again,_ Min?"

Rocky huffed, rolling his eyes as he trailed behind his roommate. He ended up beating him to their front door though, and stuck his tongue out at him before kicking the door open. In the living room, Myungjun was sitting on one of the blue couches, laughing loudly with his head tipped back. He had a friend sitting on the other side of the couch, but with his back facing the door, Rocky couldn’t recognise him. It wasn't like he really cared to figure out who the pink haired person was anyways, so he just made his way into his bedroom. Bin stayed to chat with whoever it was, obviously. Bin always had to be the life of the party.

Rocky dropped his bag by the foot of his bed before sprawling onto it, face first. As he pressed his face against the pillow, he sighed happily: he was so ready to spend the rest of his weekend like this. No classes, no aching feet, and definitely no chances of running into his soulmate.

However, Bin seemed to have other plans. “Rocky! Come out here!” he called out from the living room.

Rocky groaned loudly. “Go away, Bin!”

Of course, it wouldn’t be that easy. A moment later, Bin was standing beside him, shaking him. “There’s someone in the living room that wants to see you.”

Rocky sighed and got up with much reluctance. He glared at Bin, trying to convey his disapproval, but his expression quickly changed at the sight of Bin’s serious face. “What?”

“It’s-” Bin bit his bottom lip. “Just… Okay, I  _ know  _ you said you don’t want to see him...”

“I have no idea what you’re talking about, Moon Bin.”

“I don’t know how else to put this,” Bin sighed before pointing towards the door. “Out there is your soulmate. Or at least, another first-year, tall and lanky student named Sanha.”

“What the-” Rocky’s eyes widened and he began shaking his head frantically. “No. No, no, no. I’m not going out there.”

“Come on, don’t make this weird. I said you’d go say hi,” Bin pleaded.

“Bin,” Rocky hissed, sliding off his bed to shut the door to their room. He didn’t want anyone overhearing their conversation and he knew Myungjun had a penchant for drama. “Bin, there is no force in this  _ world _ that could get me to go out there.”

Bin then sighed and ran a hand through his hair in frustration. “Look. He thinks your name is Rocky. He doesn’t know that  _ you’re  _ actually Minhyuk… Just go say hi.”

When Rocky didn’t answer, Bin pushed his luck. “I’ll be right there with you.”

Rocky closed his eyes, inhaling and exhaling deeply, and opened them again. “Okay. I guess there is one force in this world that can make it happen.”

Bin offered him a smile before reaching over and squeezing his shoulder reassuringly. Rocky then followed Bin out of the room, messing with his hair in hopes of looking at least half decent, and entered the living room.

“The man of the hour!” Myungjun exclaimed at the sight of him, patting the space on the couch beside him. The space between him and his supposed destiny.

When the pink haired boy looked up, Rocky didn’t know what to expect. This was the moment that his life was supposed to have been leading up to, but he didn’t want it to happen, not just yet.

His (possible) soulmate had wide brown eyes filled with childlike curiosity and a button nose. Along with his pink pouty lips, he almost looked like a little doll. The slightly oversized white shirt that hung off his thin frame added to the fragility he seemed to emanate. Rocky couldn’t believe he was apprehensive about meeting  _ him.  _ He looked like he would fall apart if Rocky simply  _ breathed  _ a little too heavily next to him.

“Hey, I’m Rocky,” he greeted the boy simply. He leaned down to shake his hand before taking a seat on the opposite couch, much to Myungjun’s dismay. 

“Nice to meet you! I’m Sanha.”

_ I know.  _ Minhyuk nodded. “First year?”

Sanha’s lips curled up in the corners. “Yeah.”

“He’s in my guitar class,” Myungjun explained animatedly. “I’ve been telling him about how good a dancer you guys are.”

“You’re in  _ his _ guitar class?” Bin asked, eyes wide as he looked at Sanha. “Damn, you must be really good then! Either that, or Myungjun sucks, which is possible too."

"Hey!" Myungjun exclaimed, hurling one of Jinwoo's decorative pillows at Bin. "Watch your mouth, I know where you sleep."

"Wow, wonder how you figured that one out," Bin teased, easily ducking to avoid another pillow. The four of them laughed before Bin turned his attention back to Sanha. "Seriously, though, you must be a good guitarist."

“Oh, uh, I don’t know about that,” Sanha chuckled, rubbing the back of his neck. “I’ve been playing for a while now, so I guess it made sense for them to move me up.”

“Nice,” Rocky mumbled with a nod, feeling like he needed to contribute to the conversation. “That’s impressive.”

Sanha just nodded, his cheeks matching the soft rose colour of his hair. “Thanks.”

The conversation continued, mostly thanks to Myungjun and Bin. Rocky took this opportunity to observe Sanha: he was a little shy, for sure, but he seemed to be getting along well with his two friends. Rocky wasn’t sure whether that was good thing or not.

Probably not.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> it's been a rough night so what better to do than update!! I'm slowly running out of pre-written chapters, yikes. let's hope for the best!!
> 
> hmu on [tumblr](http://cigarettes-and-plastic-hearts.tumblr.com/). I can't give you a good reason to, but I'm always down to talk about socky.


	8. hair dye

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It wasn't like Rocky to act like that, not at all.

After a couple weeks, much to Rocky’s dismay, it became apparent that Sanha was going to be a fixture in their friend group. He started joining them on their weekly dinners, and sometimes even when it was just Rocky and Bin. He added a touch of enthusiasm and excitement to everything they did, which was a refreshing change from the usual grind. At least, so thought Bin.

“He’s sweet, Rocky,” Bin had sighed one night before chucking a shirt in his roommate’s direction. “You need to stop being so grumpy all the damn time.”

“I’m not grumpy, I just don’t-”

“Don’t want a soulmate. Please, spare me that sentence, just for a week.”

 

Speaking of the soulmate front, Rocky was doing a great job at hiding the truth. By some stroke of luck, Sanha had yet to put the pieces together, and he intended to keep it that way.

However, one evening when they were all having dinner together, squished into one of the cafeteria booths, the topic of soulmates came up. Rocky wasn’t sure how or why - he hadn’t been paying attention to his friends screaming - but all he knew was that Myungjun was in the process of lacing his fingers with Jinwoo’s. He then lifted their interlocked hands up and pressed a kiss to the back of his soulmate’s hand.

“I really wouldn’t have believed it,” Sanha commented, a wide smile on his face. “You guys act so… So lowkey.”

Jinwoo shrugged, glancing at Myungjun before looking at Sanha. “We’ve known each other for a long while now,” he explained. “Being lovey-dovey all the time gets exhausting very quickly.”

“I see,” Sanha sighed, almost dreamily. With an elbow on the table, he rested his cheek against his hand. “My soulmate goes here, too.”

Rocky ignored the worried glance Bin shot him from across the table, continuing to eat and listen to his friends talk. He felt his heart rate increase though, and tried desperately to calm himself before he gave something away.

“Oh, really?” Jinwoo asked. Of course Jinwoo would ask - he was such a hopeless romantic. “Do you know him?”

Sanha lifted his head before shaking it. “No. I only know his name.”

“What is- Hey!”

In that moment, Rocky could’ve kissed Bin. Bin, his best friend, who had just flung a piece of bread at Jinwoo in order to shut him up, who sacrificed  _ food _ for Rocky. He was truly one of a kind.

“I don’t even know why I had that piece of bread. It was too small to be nutritious,” Bin shrugged, causing everyone at the table to look at him in confusion. “Kind of like you, Jinwoo.”

“Hey!” Jinwoo and Myungjun yelled in unison.

“Don’t talk about my soulmate like that.” Myungjun warned, wrapping his arms around Jinwoo’s shoulders and pressing a kiss to his cheek. “He may be small but he’s perfect.”

Rocky rolled his eyes as Bin pretended to gag. Thankfully, though, Bin’s tactic worked. Jinwoo forgot completely about Sanha’s soulmate and Rocky was saved from having an awkward talk with Sanha. He never would’ve imagined a day where he would willingly want to listen to Jinwoo and Myungjun be sappy about one another, but in that moment, he would rather them keep talking then Sanha say another word about soulmates.

  
  


Of course, he was only safe for so long. Bin, although willing to take a bullet for him, was also up for putting a bullet  _ through _ him - metaphorically, obviously, but it hurt Rocky’s pride just as much.

This was made apparent when Bin invited both Rocky and Sanha to join him for lunch, sat down with the two of them for a moment and then promptly ditching them, claiming that he forgot he had a meeting with his advisor. “I'll see you guys later tonight!” he assured them before dashing off.

Rocky watched his retreating back and sighed. He really, truly could kill him.

“I’m not surprised,” Sanha commented, causing Rocky to turn his gaze towards him. “Typical Bin.”

“Yeah, tell me about it,” Rocky grumbled.

Sanha then launched into a story about Bin forgetting him in the middle of the nearby grocery store when he was his ride back to campus. While Sanha talked, hands emphasising his words, Rocky observed him. That day, he was wearing a yellow cap backwards, his hair parting in the center and falling in pink waves across his forehead. His thin mustard sweater matched his hat, his entire outfit adding a touch of colour to the dreary day.

“Luckily I got off at the right stop, otherwise I probably would’ve stayed on that bus all night,” Sanha concluded, drawing Rocky’s attention back to his eyes. “It’s all good though, Bin bought me dinner that night.”

Rocky chuckled. “He must’ve really felt bad, then.”

“I should hope so!”

Rocky laughed again and Sanha beamed. Soon after, though, silence befell them. It wasn’t an awkward silence, surprisingly; it was comfortable, the two of them eating and simply enjoying each other’s presence.

Rocky hated how much he was enjoying it.

“I think I’m going to dye my hair again,” Sanha then said, breaking the silence as he tugged at a strand on his forehead with his free hand. “What do you think?”

“Depends on the colour.” Rocky shrugged, offering Sanha a brief glance before lowering his eyes to his food again. “I really like what it looks like now, though.”

Rocky didn’t look up to see Sanha’s eyes widened ever so slightly as he mumbled a “Oh… Thank you.”

Instead, Rocky just hummed. He didn’t know where that comment had come from. It wasn’t like him to express his opinion on something as insignificant as hair, even though he was telling the truth. And it wasn’t like him to avoid eye contact when actually stating his opinion.

It wasn’t like Rocky at all, and he was beginning to feel a little terrified. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hello, hello! I haven't updated in ages and I apologise because this chapter isn't really all that great either. sigh.  
> however I hope you guys still like it! hmu on [tumblr](http://cigarettes-and-plastic-hearts.tumblr.com/) to remind me to update this damn fic smh


	9. selfish

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Your motivations are selfish, Minhyuk. What are you trying to protect yourself from?"  
> “I won’t stand here and be judged by you. You wouldn't get it."

“Rocky, do you want to get lunch with me?”

Turning on his heels, Rocky saw Sanha standing in the doorway to the practice room, with his green bag hanging off one shoulder carelessly and his hair falling into his eyes. 

“What are you doing here?” he asked instead of answering, moving to the corner of the room to pause his music.

“I- My next class is in three hours. I know you have a break around this time, so… I came to find you.”

Rocky nodded. He wasn’t really surprised, per se, but Sanha’s appearance was a little unexpected. His eyes then moved to the clock on the only wall not covered in mirrors: 1:23 PM. “I’ve got this room booked till the end of the hour,” he explained, diverting his attention back to Sanha. “So, uh…”

“I can wait!” Sanha chirped, immediately crossing the room and settling down beside Rocky’s pile of belongings. “I like watching you dance, anyways.”

That was the response Rocky had been dreading. However, he just shrugged - what was he going to do, tell Sanha to leave? He may be eager to throw him off his trail, but he wasn’t going to be mean about it. “Okay.”

He turned the music back on and went through the choreography once, twice, three times under Sanha’s captivated gaze before collapsing onto the ground, limbs yelling at him to take a breather.

“You’re so cool when you dance,” Sanha commented. His long legs were splayed out in front of him and Rocky looked over to see him staring at them with a pout on his face. “I want to be as cool as you are.”

An amused smile crept onto the dancer’s face. “Sanha, you’re cool the way you are.”

“You’re lying,” Sanha whined, meeting his gaze. “I wish I was like you.”

“Why would I lie?” Okay, maybe Sanha was right, maybe he  _ was _ lying a little, but again - Rocky wasn’t  _ mean. _

“Well, everyone knows you. You’re just  _ cool, _ Rocky. You have lots of friends, you’re confident, you get invited to all these parties.” Sanha was now toying with loose strands around the rips in his jeans. “I don’t. There’s no other way to put it.”

Rocky didn’t know what to say. He stalled for a moment, grabbing his bottle and taking a long swig of it. He wiped his mouth and said, “Well, I can’t play guitar.”

Sanha scoffed. “Guitar is easy. Anyone  _ can _ play it, it’s just a matter of learning. You’re naturally talented when it comes to dancing. Not everyone has that talent.”

Rocky just smiled softly before hoisting himself up and moving across the room to take a seat beside his tall friend. He really didn’t know what would make Sanha feel better, so he simply said, “Well,  _ I _ can’t. So you should teach me sometime.”

“Really, you want  _ me _ to teach  _ you?" _ Sanha’s face then lit up with a wide smile. “That would be so much fun!” Without any warning, he threw his arms around Rocky, hugging him tightly.

 

After that, though, Rocky realised that he was nearly incapable of ever turning Sanha down, and thus the two of them started spending a lot of time together. Their schedules worked out in such a way that most of their breaks between classes overlapped, and since the dance building was right next to the music building, at the far end of campus, it just ended up working out conveniently. They quickly fell into a routine of getting lunch together during their breaks and sitting out in front of their buildings if the weather would allow, chatting about anything and everything, whatever came to their mind that day. Occasionally, Sanha would have his guitar and would play Rocky some of the new pieces he had to learn for class, or would sit in on Rocky’s practice sessions and applaud him when they were over. 

One day, when Rocky got back to his dorm after a “guitar lesson” with Sanha - rather, an hour of him jerking away each time Sanha’s hand touched his, even if it was just to adjust his finger positioning - he found Jinwoo standing by the bathroom door on his phone, a purple towel draped over his arm.

“Waiting for the bathroom?” Rocky asked, and when Jinwoo simply nodded without looking up from his phone, he chuckled and entered his room. He kicked off his shoes and dropped his bag on the floor, then wandered back into the living room.

He was in the process of turning on their TV and their game console when he heard his name being called, and looked up to see Jinwoo peering over at him.

“Yeah?”

Jinwoo seemed to pick his words carefully before he spoke. “Your soulmate is called Sanha, right?” When Rocky nodded hesitantly, he continued. “You friend is called Sanha. Is-”

Rocky then sighed, interrupting Jinwoo.  “Yes.”

“Yes?”

“Yes. It’s him,” he admitted quietly, not daring to make eye contact. “Sanha and I are soulmates.”

Jinwoo was quiet for a moment as he mulled over the information. “Does he know?”

“No.” Rocky had expected the question. “He doesn’t.”

“Are you going to tell him?”

“No.”

“Rocky…”

The younger boy sighed once again. “I have my reasons, Jinwoo.”

Jinwoo tutted in response. “Don’t you think your reasons are selfish?”

That statement cause Rocky to frown and finally meet Jinwoo’s gaze. “Selfish?” That was the first time anyone had called him that.

“Yeah! Sanha is clearly excited to meet you. A week doesn’t go by without him bringing you up.” Jinwoo sighed. “He deserves to know. Your motivations are selfish, Minhyuk.”

“I won’t stand here and be judged by you,” Rocky muttered, crossing his arms. 

“Do you even like Sanha, as a friend?”

“Sure I do.”

“Then it’s selfish,” Jinwoo repeated. “You’re only trying to protect yourself. And from what?”

Rocky shook his head, looking away. “You wouldn’t get it. You and Myungjun are perfect for each other.”

Jinwoo scoffed at that, but Rocky wasn’t sticking around to hear more. He went back to his room and closed the door with more force than necessary before throwing himself on his bed. He heard the door open again a few minutes later and groaned loudly, assuming that it was Jinwoo coming to add more to the argument.

However, when the person spoke, Rocky sighed in relief: it was just Bin. “What’s up?”

“Park Jinwoo is out there trying to act like he’s my dad or something,” Rocky grumbled, turning around so he could face his roommate. “We might have the same last name but that doesn’t mean he can treat me like this.”

Bin snorted. “What did he do?”

“He figured out who Sanha is,” Rocky muttered and sat up straight. “He told me I’m  _ selfish. _ I just- I don’t want- I’m not selfish! I’m not!”

Bin’s eyes widened at his roommate’s outburst. “What?”

“I’m not selfish for not wanting to tell Sanha,” he huffed, grabbing a pillow from behind him and shoving his face into it.

“Um…” Bin then sighed. “Do you- Do you want me to tell you what you want to hear?”

“Yes.” Rocky’s voice was muffled by his pillow, but Bin understood him.

“You’re not selfish. It’s normal to be scared of meeting your soulmate. Some people, like you, just need a little extra time.”

Rocky shifted his head just a little so that he could peer over at Bin through one eye. “You’re my best friend, Moon Bin.”

“I know.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> :o I guess Jinwoo remembered after all
> 
> lil announcement: I probably won't be updating this fic in the next couple of weeks for two reasons: I've been having a really bad pain in my wrist lately which is making it a lot harder to type, and I'm going to be out of town for a bit! However I hope you guys enjoyed this update, and as always you can reach me on [tumblr](http://cigarettes-and-plastic-hearts.tumblr.com/)!


	10. the performance

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rocky realised just how close he was to Sanha 一 especially their faces. He started squirming away, causing Sanha to huff and sit up, complaining about how he was pushing him off the bed. Rocky didn’t want to entertain the idea of kissing Sanha. Curse his brain for always going back to the cheesy dramas Myungjun made him watch.

“Sanha, you wear so many hats,” Rocky pointed out from his spot on Sanha’s unmade bed. “How many do you have?”

“Uh, maybe five?” Sanha shrugged. “I don’t have  _ that many." _

“Five, that’s still a decent amount,” Rocky laughed, picking up the stuffed duck lying beside Sanha’s pillow. “You only have one head.”

He was supposed to be helping Sanha put together an outfit for his performance later that evening, but instead he was just watching him, making unhelpful comments on his choices of clothes. 

Sanha just shook his head, continuing to rummage through his dresser. While the taller boy had his head ducked over the messy drawer, Rocky tossed aside the duck and reached over to grab the green hat off his head.

“Hey!” Sanha cried, making Rocky laugh as he placed the hat on his own head. Sanha then lunged for it, but Rocky escaped, bounding to the other side of the tiny room. Sanha chased him and finally managed to catch him, tackling him onto his bed, the two of them laughing against one another.

As their laughter faded into heavy breathing, Rocky realised just how close he was to Sanha 一 especially their faces. He started squirming away, causing Sanha to huff and sit up, complaining about how he was pushing him off the bed. Rocky didn’t want to entertain the idea of kissing Sanha. Curse his brain for always going back to the cheesy dramas Myungjun made him watch.

“Anyways, let’s find something. My friend from high school is coming so I  _ have _ to look presentable,” Sanha said, seemingly unphased by their interaction as he resumed his rummaging. 

Rocky’s brain, however, was replaying Jinwoo’s words from earlier that week: _“Your motivations are selfish, Minhyuk.”_ He shook the thought away. He  _ wasn’t  _ selfish. He was going to watch Sanha’s performance, even though he should be practicing his choreography. That wasn’t something a selfish person would do.

Finally, Sanha opted to go with a fitted black turtleneck and regular blue jeans, claiming it nice enough for his friend’s approval.

“Your friend Dongmin, right?” Rocky asked, helping Sanha clean all the clothes he had left strewn around. 

“Yeah!” Sanha smiled. “I haven’t seen him since this summer. You might like him, Rocky. He’s really smart.”

Rocky nodded in response, not needing to add anything more. They gathered all the things Sanha would need for his performance before heading out to the music building. (Well, almost. They were halfway out the building when Sanha rushed back for his guitar tuner.)

Sanha broke the silence as they walked. “I’m really excited to see Dongmin again. He’s been to all my performances, so I’m glad he was able to make it to this one, even though it’s not my own solo performance.”

“Why wouldn’t he be able to?” Rocky asked, eyeing Sanha.

“Oh, well… He’s a law student. He’s your age,” Sanha nodded in Rocky’s direction. “So things are only getting more hectic for him. He doesn’t have as much free time anymore.”

“I’m sure he’ll make time for you.”

Sanha stopped in front of the building and held the door open for Rocky before responding. “Hmm, maybe.”

Rocky shrugged. “At least he’s at your  _ first _ one in college, right?”

Sanha shot Rocky a grin, hoisting his guitar up higher on his shoulder. “You always see the bright side of things. That’s why I love you.”

Rocky’s mouth went dry. Before he could get a word out, however, Sanha had thrown open the door to the recital hall and had disappeared into the room. Rocky, on the other hand, had suddenly lost motivation to follow.  _ “I love you”? _ It wasn’t like he’d never heard those words before. Hell, he’d  _ said _ those words to his friends before. It was no big deal.  Sanha may technically be his soulmate, but more importantly, he was his  _ friend. _

“It’s no big deal,” he muttered to himself before finally letting himself into the recital hall.

He immediately spotted Sanha talking to another tall boy he assumed to be Dongmin. He made his way down the stairs to the stage, awkwardly trying to sidle up to Sanha without interrupting their conversation.

“Ah, Dongmin!” Sanha grinned when Rocky approached, throwing an arm around his shoulder. “This is my friend Rocky.”

“Nice to meet you, Rocky,” Dongmin smiled, reaching out to shake his hand. “I’ve heard a lot about you.”

“Likewise,” Rocky replied.

“Well, now that I’ve introduced you two, I’m going to go back there and set up,” Sanha said, his thumb pointing towards a door behind him. “You two go sit down!”

The two boys watched Sanha’s retreating back before turning to face each other. “Well, let’s find seats,” Rocky shrugged.

“Aren't the rest of your friends coming?” Dongmin asked when they settled into the red seats in the second row. “Sanha’s told me all about them.”

“They're coming.” Rocky nodded. “They're just not the most punctual of people.”

Dongmin chuckled and nodded before changing the subject, asking Rocky about studies and what he liked about college. Rocky found out that Dongmin and Sanha had been friends since they were 6 and 5 years old, respectively, and had somehow remained friends throughout the years despite their obvious differences. 

Right as the show was about to start, someone sat down beside Rocky, throwing their arms around him. 

“Rocky, you’re here!” Myungjun exclaimed dramatically, a little too loud for how close he was to Rocky’s ear. “I need your help, Rocky.”

The younger boy pushed Myungjun off, turning to see Bin and Jinwoo beside him wearing matching grins. “What did you do now?” he asked, eyes fixed on Bin.

“Nothing!” Bin laughed.

Rocky rolled his eyes, looking over at Dongmin. “These are the friends Sanha told you about,” he sighed. “They’re a handful.”

Before Myungjun could respond, the backstage door swung open and out came Sanha followed by a shorter girl, eliciting applause from his five friends and the rest of the small audience.

Rocky gave Sanha his undivided attention as he watched him settle into a chair and nod to the girl who settled behind the piano in the middle of the stage. He watched as he adjusted the mic to his height and shot the crowd a smile, returning the smile when their eyes met.

Sanha took a deep breath before beginning to strum, the pianist following along. From beside him, Rocky could hear Myungjun humming along to the sappy lyrics, and silently wondered why he was surrounded by such hopeless romantics.

Nevertheless, Rocky enjoyed the song. Sanha’s voice was still bordering on childlike, giving it an innocent touch. When the song came to its end, the four of them stood up and cheered loudly, embarrassing not only themselves but Sanha and Dongmin in the process.

“This is how we roll here at K-Arts,” Myungjun explained when they sat down, leaning over Rocky to talk to Dongmin. “Will you join us after the next song?”

“Why not?” Dongmin replied, a wide smile on his face that only got wider when Myungjun punched the air in excitement.

 

After the show (and five more standing ovations), the five of them stood by the stage, waiting for Sanha to accept all the praises he was receiving. When he finally made his way to them, he latched himself to Dongmin’s side, his smile as bright as his hair. “Thank you guys for coming,” he said, but his eyes stayed fixed on Rocky.

Rocky avoided them, instead looking over at Myungjun, listening to him rattle off compliments towards the younger boy.

Finally, they began making their way to the restaurant Jinwoo had picked to celebrate at, Rocky falling into step beside Bin, behind the rest of the group.

After walking for a bit in relative silence, Bin elbowed Rocky, knocking him out of his thoughts. “He’s so cute,” he whispered and nodded in the general direction of their friends.

Rocky didn’t have to ask for clarification. “Yeah, he is.”

“Too bad soulmates are a thing,” Bin sighed, and swung his arm around Rocky’s shoulders. “That boy is too pretty to be a minion lover.”

“I don’t- I don’t understand the correlation, Bin.”

But before Rocky could get an explanation, Sanha was ushering them into the restaurant. The whole place was dimly lit, perhaps a tad too fancy for six university kids, but Rocky supposed it was worth it to celebrate Sanha’s very first performance. They had done the same for Bin and his first dance performance, and although they hadn’t been around for Myungjun or Jinwoo’s first ones, they celebrated after the first ones  _ they _ had gotten to attend.

They got a table by the window and sat down, Sanha insisting that Rocky sit across from him. Once the waiter had given them all their menus and the conversation broke off into smaller ones, Sanha smiled, propping his chin up on his hands. “So, what did you think of the show?”

Rocky couldn’t help the smile that tugged the corners of his lips up. “You were really good, Sanha. I was impressed.”

“Did I blow you away?” Sanha joked, making the older boy roll his eyes, then picked up the menu in front of him and put on a more sincere smile. “Thanks, Rocky.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ok but [pink haired sanha](http://plastic--hearts.tumblr.com/post/164790655460/arohauniverse-170825-the-1st-astroad-to) [in a hat](http://plastic--hearts.tumblr.com/post/164771330850/astrodaily-170826-astro-twitter-update) is a look
> 
> guess who's back! I'm planning to get one or two more chapters up before I have to go back to college :'( let's see how that goes.  
> as always, you can find me on [tumblr](http://plastic--hearts.tumblr.com/)!


	11. revelation

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "More than worrying about romance and relationships and whatever potential pressure you might feel, Minhyuk, I think you need to worry about how you’re going to break it to him that you're his soulmate."

“Oh my fucking  _ god." _

Rocky raised his eyebrows, turning his attention away from the tv to face his roommate sitting beside him on the couch. “You good, Bin? This isn’t that serious.”

Judging by the instagram profile pulled up on Bin’s phone, though, Rocky realised that he probably wasn’t talking about the movie they were watching. “Why are you on Dongmin’s profile?”

“Rocky,” Bin breathed out, eyes meeting Rocky’s. Bin’s eyes were wide, almost wonderstruck. “Rocky,” he repeated. “He’s my soulmate.”

Rocky immediately frowned and reached over to the remote to turn off the tv. “Wait, what?”

“Dongmin. Sanha’s friend that we met a week ago? He’s my soulmate.” 

“I know who Dongmin is,” Rocky tutted. “H-How do you know?”

“He likes minions.”

Rocky looked at Bin for a moment, waiting for him to elaborate, and when he didn’t, he burst out laughing.

“Rocky!” Bin whined, tossing his phone at him. “This isn’t  _ funny!" _

“Bin!” Rocky mimicked him through bouts of laughter. “That’s one little thing!”

“Liking minions eliminates over half the adult male population!” Bin exclaimed, a pout beginning to appear on his face. “And- And he’s a law student who studies a lot. I was texting him the other day, and all he could talk about was his upcoming test! Rocky, that explains all the textbooks I see!”

Rocky just kept on laughing, shaking his head. “I feel like you’re just trying to convince yourself this guy is your soulmate.”

Bin then huffed and reached over to grab his phone. He opened up instagram, scrolling through some pictures before pulling one up. “This is his cat. The same black cat I’ve been telling you about.”

“Lots of people have black cats.”

“Okay, well, look at this bridge.” Bin pulled up another picture from Dongmin’s profile. “I’ve seen this so many fucking times.”

“That’s a dock, Bin.”

Bin groaned. “ _ Whatever. _ I’ve seen it.” He then dropped his phone onto the couch beside him and tipped his head back against the backrest. “He’s my soulmate. My actual, literal, goddamn  _ soulmate.” _

“But-”

“I didn’t have a dream after I met him,” Bin interrupted, turning his head to look at Rocky again. “And you fucking know that’s weird.”

That statement shut Rocky up. Bin dreamt about his soulmate a  _ lot, _ perhaps more than the average person. His dreams were always vivid and relatively clear, according to him. It probably had something to do with making up for how boring they were, but none of that mattered now. “Are… Are you sure?”

Bin nodded, expression deadly serious. “Lee Dongmin is my soulmate.” As those words tumbled from his lips, they turned upwards, and within seconds he had launched himself into Rocky’s arms, squeezing tightly. “I found my soulmate, Rocky, I found him!”

As Rocky held Bin, he felt a pang in his chest.  _ “Sanha is clearly excited to meet you. He deserves to know.” _ He swallowed the lump in his throat, smiling at Bin when they separated. “I’m happy for you, bro.”

  
  


However, Rocky didn’t get the opportunity to do anything about the tightness in his chest. During the following week, he didn’t see much - or anything - of Sanha. Not that he had much time to even think about it: he was busy spending late nights in the dance building, practicing for the upcoming performance. He’d get back to his room with aching muscles and sweat-soaked clothes in the early hours of the morning, but the wide smile never left his face.

He should’ve known, though, that those days apart would trigger the dreams again.

_ His hands were a little shaky as he stood in front of the class. He strummed a little, making sure his guitar was tuned, and then started playing. After a moment, he looked up at the class of students in front of him before quickly diverting his attention back to his fingers on the fretboard, moving them around quickly as he showcased the song he had been working so hard on for the past few weeks. _

_ When he finished, the students clapped, causing him to smile and even laugh when one of them stood up and cheered louder than the rest. _

Rocky knew exactly who that one student was. He was sleeping across the hall from him.

With a sigh, he rolled over to check the clock on his dresser: 8:17AM. He still had about an hour before his actual alarm would go off, but he knew he wasn’t going to be able to go back to sleep, not now that his brain had forced him to remember that  _ hey, soulmates exist! _ So he got up, changed into his workout clothes quietly and exited the dorm. He walked to the quad as he picked a song, and after putting in his headphones, started jogging.

Running always cleared his mind, especially when he was away from home. This time, though, his thoughts were nearly suffocating, even as he picked up the pace or tried to focus on his breathing or on the lyrics of the song. He couldn’t get Bin’s bright smile or Jinwoo’s words out of his mind, and he certainly couldn’t forget about Sanha’s “ _ I love you.” _

With a sigh, he turned to go back to his suite.

Once he got back, instead of heading to his room, he went straight for Myungjun and Jinwoo’s door. He knew that Myungjun was out - he had vocal practice very early in the morning for some godforsaken reason - so he didn’t have to worry about having to explain the whole situation to him.

After a few knocks, the door swung open, revealing a slightly dishevelled Jinwoo still wearing his pyjamas. He squinted at Rocky. “Good morning, what’s going on?”

“Can- Can I talk to you?” Rocky didn’t have his thoughts in order, but he didn’t care. He needed to figure himself out.

Jinwoo nodded, yawning as he let the boy in. Rocky sat on Jinwoo’s bed and watched the other boy pick up the round glasses lying on the dresser and prop them on his face. “What’s wrong?”

“I- I need to tell Sanha,” he blurted out, not meeting Jinwoo’s eyes.

“What?”

“I need to tell him I’m his soulmate. I- Honestly, I don’t know how he hasn’t figured it out yet.” Rocky sighed and ran a hand through his hair, damp with sweat. “Jinwoo, I- I just… You’ve known Myungjun for  _ years. _ You guys don’t know a life without each other.” He finally looked up, meeting the blond boy’s eyes. “Sanha’s so new in my life. I don’t want to jump into a relationship or be pressured to jump into one. I need… I need more time to figure out whether or not this is strictly platonic, which for the moment, it is.”

Jinwoo sighed. He averted his gaze, looked out of the window as he collected his thoughts. Rocky bit his lower lip.

“Minhyuk...” Jinwoo sighed, finally speaking up. “I think you definitely should tell him. That’s a given. I- I don’t want to sound harsh, but things are probably not going to go smoothly.”

“I know.”

“So more than worrying about romance and relationships and whatever potential pressure you might feel, I think you need to worry about how you’re going to break it to him and then make it up to him.” Jinwoo moved across the room and sat beside Rocky. “I may not know Sanha, but I can only imagine that he’s not going to like hearing that you knew of this for  _ months." _

Rocky sighed, his shoulders and head dropping. “You’re right.”

“Sanha really considers you a best friend, Minhyuk. It’s going to hurt him, but you have to tell him. And that’s the only thing you should be focusing on right now when it comes to this situation.” Jinwoo wrapped an arm around Rocky, bringing him closer. “But I’m here for you. And so are Bin and Myungjun. I believe in you, and whatever happens, you’ll always have us.”

 

After talking with Jinwoo for a little while longer, he took a quick shower before heading out to get breakfast before his class. He had already wasted so much time that he was planning on just picking up some tea and a fruit then immediately making his way to the dance building, but all that changed when he saw Sanha sitting alone at one of the booths, absently stirring his drink.

The boy perked up when Rocky slid into the seat in front of him, lips curling into an effortless smile. “Hey Rocky.”

“Hey Sanha,” Rocky greeted, avoiding his eyes. “How’re you doing?”

Sanha shrugged, eyes turning back down to his drink. “Just thinking.”

Rocky took a bite of his apple and hummed, encouraging the other boy to keep talking even though everything in him was begging for him to either break the news or run far, far away.

“I had a soulmate dream last night,” Sanha explained, meeting Rocky’s gaze and causing his heart to start pounding in his chest, so loud that he was certain Sanha could hear it. “I haven’t had one in some time, so… I’m just- I just want to know who he is.” 

“So, what happened in your dream?”

“He was dancing. Nothing exciting. He’s always dancing,” he explained. Suddenly, an excited expression took over his face. “Maybe you know him!”

“Oh, I-”

“Now that I know what the practice rooms look like, I realise that he’s  _ always _ in the dance building. Even last year, he’d spend so much time there. You’ve got to know him.”

Rocky shrugged, forcing a smile. Part of him was truly stumped as to how Sanha hadn’t put the pieces together. “Maybe I do. Do you- What do you know about him?”

“Well, obviously he loves to dance. He’s also friends with the brother of this girl that went to my high school, Sua. I forgot her brother's name, though.” Sanha then frowned slightly, biting his bottom lip as he thought. “Ah, his name is Minhyuk.”

“Oh.” Rocky’s voice sounded strangled, but Sanha didn’t notice.

“Yeah. Do you know a Minhyuk?”

_ Tell him!  _ Rocky’s brain yelled.  _ Tell him it’s you! _

But Rocky had a penchant for self-destruction, apparently, and shook his head. “No, but I don’t know many people. Maybe I could ask around.”

Sanha grinned excitedly and clapped his hands together. “Thank you, Rocky!”

Little did Sanha know, that happy expression broke something inside Rocky. He couldn’t even meet the boy’s gaze when he replied with a mumbled, “Don’t mention it.”

 

For the rest of that day, Rocky couldn’t stop thinking about Sanha’s ecstatic expression and pure joy at the idea of meeting his soulmate. And he couldn’t stop his heart from breaking, couldn’t stop how bad he felt. By the end of the day, he came to the obvious conclusion: he couldn’t keep waiting around, couldn’t keep telling himself he was going to “figure it out”. He had to tell him, and it had to be today.

He figured the best way to do it was to cut the bullshit - not like Rocky was a fan of that in the first place. He had to rip the bandaid off, get right to the point, and then deal with the consequences, just as Jinwoo said.

With his mind made up, he got out of his last class and immediately made his way to Sanha’s dorm room. 

But of course, he wasn't there. Groaning, Rocky then trudged back to his own dorm. Upon entering it, he realised that no one was home. He huffed in frustration. There was only one place Sanha could be: the music building.

He left his bag in his room, making sure to grab his keys and wallet, then headed out for the music building. As he walked, he felt his heart begin beating faster and faster. 

He should just turn around. The stakes were too high. He was going to ruin the friendship he had with Sanha, he was going to lose a friend who would always cheer him up, a beacon of light amidst the five of them.

Maybe that's why he  _ should _ tell him. If he waited any longer and Sanha found out on his own, there would be no way for him to redeem himself. Besides, Sanha deserved to know, especially when it was evident that Sanha wanted to meet him so badly. He would have to give Jinwoo the satisfaction of saying  _ “I told you so.” _

As he walked into and down the hall of the building, Rocky made his way to Sanha’s preferred practice room. It was near the end of the hall and almost always vacant due to the condition of the piano in it. He stood in front of the door, took a few deep breaths. Finally, he knocked, the music coming from the other side stopping. A moment later the door opened, revealing a clearly frustrated Sanha. His hair was sticking up at odd angles and Rocky almost wanted to reach up and fix it for him.

“Oh, it’s you.” Sanha smiled softly, moving so he could step in. 

He stepped into the room, taking a seat on the wooden stool shoved in the corner while Sanha sat down behind the piano. “No guitar?”

“I’ve been trying to compose a piano bit for this song I’m working on,” Sanha explained, lifting some sheet music for Rocky to see. “No luck, though.”

“That sucks.”

“What are you doing here?” Sanha asked, then shook his head a little frantically. “Not that I mind. I just- You’re usually dancing at this time.”

This was it. The moment of truth. 

Rocky took a deep breath. “I- I need to talk to you. It’s important.”

Sanha’s attention was immediately piqued. He turned so that he was facing the other boy head on and nodded, hands clasped in his lap. “Okay.”

Rocky picked up his bag from where he had dropped it on the floor and rummaged through it, pulling out his wallet, and clutched it tightly. “You know… You know how you asked me to find your soulmate?”

“Yeah…” Sanha’s eyes glinted with excitement but his voice hinted at suspicion.

With shaky hands, Rocky took his ID card out of his wallet. “I- I know who he is.” Then he leant over and handed him his ID, a thin little slab of plastic that would change everything, to Sanha. “I think you’ll recognise the name.”

Sanha took it, eyes shifting from Rocky to the ID. His attention stayed on it for so long, Rocky was sure his heart was going to end up jumping out of his chest and onto the ground between them. The silence was deafening.

Finally, Sanha lifted his head again. His eyes were glistening with tears, only causing Rocky’s shoulders to fall and heart to feel like it was breaking all over again. He handed the ID back to him wordlessly before getting up, packing his stuff into his bag, and exiting the room. Rocky felt like he was going to cry - scratch that, he  _ knew _ he was about to cry.

He sat there for a moment before frowning: he couldn't just let Sanha walk away. Quickly, he shoved his ID and wallet back into his bag carelessly before grabbing it, then dashed out of the room, thankful when he noticed that the other boy was still in sight. “Sanha!” he yelled out, running to catch up with him. He couldn’t care less for the dirty looks passing students sent his way.

Sanha stopped and turned around, and as Rocky approached he realised that he had a few stray tears running down his cheek. “What do you want?” he asked, trying to sound stern but his wavering voice betrayed him.

“Sanha, I’m so sorry,” Rocky apologised. He wanted to wrap Sanha in his arms and take away all the pain, the pain  _ he _ had singlehandedly caused. “I really, really am.”

“All this time, you lied,” Sanha murmured, wiping away the tears furiously. “I- I trusted you, so much. I- Damn, I practically  _ idolised _ you, Rocky, and you knew that. You knew that, and you knew you were my soulmate, and all this time you were just… Why didn't you tell me when I asked?”

“I- It's- I was terrified,” Rocky admitted. “I was so scared. Of so many things, Sanha. And then, it just went on for so long that I didn't know when to stop.”

Sanha nodded, eyes off in the distance. When he blinked, another tear rolled down his cheek. Rocky wanted nothing more than to reach up and wipe it away, but he knew he couldn't, not right then. “You know, I-” he took a shaky breath. “I thought it was you, for a while. Everything added up just right, except for one thing. Other than your name, that is.” Sanha met Rocky’s eyes and continued, “I told myself that if  _ you _ really were my soulmate, you would’ve told me. A long time ago.”

“I'm so unbelievably sorry,” Rocky insisted. His throat was closing up, the tears inevitable. “I’m not defending myself. I just want you to know why I did it.”

“I’ve gotta go,” Sanha muttered, before turning on his heels and walking away, leaving Rocky in the middle of the music building with tears threatening to spill down his cheeks.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯  
> [let's chat](http://plastic--hearts.tumblr.com/)


	12. advice

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "You can’t force him to forgive you. But you can start with forgiving yourself. You did what you had to, and even though the outcome wasn’t ideal, it’s done. So now’s the part where you let yourself off the hook and stop wallowing in self-pity and blame, and instead go out there, live your life, and perhaps try to show Sanha that you’re really, truly sorry."

Rocky couldn't find interest in anything for the days following his confession. That night, he had gone straight to bed, burrowing into his blankets and refusing to come out or talk to any of his suitemates.

The next day was hardly better. He got out of bed, exchanged a few words with his three friends and went to class, but everything felt like a chore. It was only in the dance studio, chest heaving and shirt soaked as he watched his moves in the mirror, that he felt like he was doing something right.

And so it continued. During his breaks, he would eat in the practice rooms and go back to dancing as soon as he could. When he was done for the day with classes, he’d spend another two hours dancing before heading back across campus, dragging his feet.

About a week or so after the confession, he felt a little better, but still chose to spend most of his time in the dance building. It’s not like he had better things to do, or had people to hang out with (other than the people he lived with, but he  _ lived with _ them. He didn’t need to hang out with them outside their dorm). He still dragged his feet home, but slowly stopped feeling sorry for himself.

Until one night. He was thinking about what he would get for dinner when he pushed open the door to his suite only to reveal Bin and Dongmin on the couch, Dongmin curled into Bin’s side as they watched whatever was on the tv.

At the sound of the door opening, Bin looked up, smiling at his roommate. “Hey, you’re home early.”

Rocky didn’t answer him verbally. Instead, his eyes went to Bin and Dongmin’s interlocked hands, to their happy, relaxed smiles, to their position on the couch. He felt something build up in his gut, make its way into his throat, constricting his breath. He knew exactly what this feeling was, but he refused to acknowledge it.

Instead, he crossed the living room to get to his room, ignoring the couple on the couch, and slammed the door behind him. He tossed his bag angrily against his dresser, uncaring when the items atop it rattled, threatening to fall, and threw himself onto the bed. Face down in his pillow was definitely his new favourite place to be.

He heard the TV turn off and low murmurs before his door opened and closed just as softly. The bed dipped beside him and he rolled over to see Bin peering over at him, pity evident in his face.

“Rocky,” Bin sighed. “What’s going on?”

“Don’t call me that,” Minhyuk muttered, looking away from his best friend to the ceiling.

“Okay,  _ Minhyuk. _ What’s going on?”

“Nothing.”

Bin huffed in frustration before smacking Minhyuk’s thigh. “Listen to me. Pull yourself together, Min.”

“I’m  _ fine.” _

“Coming in and slamming the door without even so much as a ‘hello’ is not  _ fine.”  _ Minhyuk opened his mouth to protest, but Bin smacked him again, effectively silencing him. “It’s not and you know that.”

“I just… Had a long day.”

“Not any longer than your other days,” Bin countered. 

Minhyuk huffed, but didn’t say anything more. Bin then sighed again, taking it as his cue to keep talking. “I can only imagine that you’re in a… A rough spot right now.” Bin paid no mind to Minhyuk’s scoff, instead focusing on a loose thread in his blanket. “You can’t keep it all bottled in and you sure as hell can’t dance it away.”

“I can if I try hard enough.”

“That’s not how this  _ works,  _ Min.”

Minhyuk sighed, pushed himself up into a sitting position and looked at Bin. “What else do you suggest I do, Bin? March up to him and demand that he forgives me?”

“No.” Bin’s voice was firm. “You can’t force him to forgive you. But you can start with forgiving yourself.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“You feel bad for breaking his heart,” Bin stated, a matter-of-fact lilt to his voice. “Or for hurting him in general. You’re taking it out on yourself. While, yeah, you’re 100% to blame-”

“Thanks, Bin.”

“- it doesn’t change the fact that you did what was right for you. And at the end of the day, things couldn’t really have played out differently unless you were willing to sacrifice your discomfort.”

“I should’ve been.”

Bin hummed, shook his head. “See? That’s what I mean by blaming yourself. It’s done, it’s over. You did what you had to, and even though the outcome wasn’t ideal, it’s  _ done.  _ So now’s the part where you let yourself off the hook and stop wallowing in self-pity and blame, and instead go out there, live your life, and perhaps try to show Sanha that you’re really, truly sorry.”

“And how do you suggest I do that?”

“Fuck if I know,” Bin snorted, causing Minhyuk to roll his eyes. He couldn’t help the smile that tugged at his lips, though.

They sat in silence for a moment, Minhyuk mulling over Bin’s words as he fiddled with his pillowcase. “Sorry for slamming the door,” he eventually settled on, receiving a snort of laughter in return. “Hey! I’m serious!”

“I know you are,” Bin responded, smiling at his best friend. “Why did you do it in the first place though?”

Minhyuk then averted his gaze again, instead focusing on a small hole in the wall, probably made by a thumb tack. “No reason.”

“Just tell me, you dumbass.”

“I- You and Dongmin caught me off guard.”

Bin was silent for a moment before he burst out laughing. “Oh my god, Minhyuk, were you  _ jealous?” _

“Shut up! I wasn’t!” When Bin didn’t stop laughing, Minhyuk grabbed his pillow, smacking Bin on the head twice. “Shut  _ up!” _

“You  _ were  _ jealous!”

Minhyuk groaned in frustration, smacked Bin again before letting the pillow fall back onto his bed and burying his face in his hands. “You’re the worst best friend. I fucking hate you.”

“No, you don’t,” Bin singsonged, picking up the pillow and smacking Minhyuk in return. “You have nothing to be jealous of, Minhyuk. I- I’m kinda nervous, actually.”

At that, Minhyuk raised his head, eyeing Bin’s pink cheeks. “The mighty Moon Bin, nervous?”

“Shut up,” Bin murmured. “You know Sanha so well at this point, and Jinwoo and Myungjun are basically the same person at this point. Dongmin is… New. It’s weird. I feel like I’m in a rush to get to know him and to start the rest of our lives together.”

Minhyuk smiled, reached over and shoved Bin’s shoulder gently. “You’ve got all the time in the world, Bin,” he said, echoing the advice Bin had given him however many months ago, way before he had gotten himself in this mess. “Take advantage of that.”

“Thanks, Min,” Bin chuckled. He looked over at Minhyuk, offering him a small smile. “You’ll be okay. You and Sanha both.”

Minhyuk hoped Bin was telling the truth.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> woo, it's been a long, dry spell. I have like three chapter plans for this but I think I'm finally set??
> 
> feel free to [bother me](http://plastic--hearts.tumblr.com/) and remind me to update this damn thing


	13. sleepover

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They were silent as they walked down the path to the dorm buildings, music from various parties and students talking loudly filling the air around them. Sanha walked with his hands in his pockets and eyes on the horizon; Minhyuk walked with his eyes mostly on Sanha. He had dark circles under his eyes and his usual friendly expression was replaced by exhaustion. It was the end of a long week, but Minhyuk knew there was probably more to the story.

A week or so later, Minhyuk found himself at a party. Myungjun has dragged the other three out, forcing them to socialise with all his peers. He knew the party would be loud and crowded, as parties thrown by the music students always were. With much effort, he squeezed his way to the back of the room where stood the plastic table littered with cups and various bottles of liquor. His eyes scanned the table: he wasn’t in the mood for anything too strong, not in his current state of mind. His eyes then fell on a thin cardboard box and he nodded to himself. Reaching in, his hand emerged with a can of beer, which he clicked open before slinking into a corner. There was a live band playing, one of the many pretentious indie bands that roamed the campus looking for gigs but only ever ended up playing these kinds of parties. People were swaying - or dancing, if they were drunk enough for that - bodies entirely too close together.

A few songs and another can of beer later, Minhyuk was ready to leave. He couldn’t see Bin - or any familiar face, for that matter - so he downed the rest of his second beer, threw the can into the overflowing rubbish bin, and pushed through the crowd once more. He finally stumbled out of the apartment, taking a breath of the crisp air, allowing himself a second to enjoy it before turning to head down the stairs. However, at the foot of the stairs was a familiar figure with bright hair, sitting with his back to Minhyuk.

Sanha was wearing a green turtleneck sweater which Minhyuk _knew_ looked good on him, nevermind that he had never seen it before.

The older boy made his way down carefully before sitting on the same step, who absently moved aside and glanced at Minhyuk. His eyes widened quickly with recognition and he looked away towards the small grassy quad in front of them.

“Hey,” Minhyuk murmured, not pulling his eyes away from the boy to his right, who just hummed in response. “How are you?”

“Fine.” His voice was curt. Minhyuk ignored the way his heart clenched.

“Not enjoying the party?”

Sanha glared at him out of the corner of his eye. “Why are you here?”

“Myungjun forced us out.”

“I mean,” Sanha sighed, turning to face him properly. “Why are you _here_? Sitting here?”

“I was leaving and I saw you,” Minhyuk explained. For the first time since he’d met Sanha, he was feeling unwelcome in his presence. “I wanted to say hi.”

“Okay. Hi.” He then turned away again.

Minhyuk sighed. “Sanha…” He then shook his head. “Okay. Have a good night.”

Minhyuk didn’t expect Sanha to forgive him - hell, he hadn’t even forgiven _himself_ yet. So he stood up to leave.

“Walk with me back to my dorm.”

Turning around quickly, Minhyuk eyed Sanha. It was as though the boy hadn’t spoken, though: he was still staring out at the quad, giving no signs of getting up.

“What?”

“I said, walk with me back to my dorm.” He then looked up at Minhyuk.

Minhyuk blinked, shoved his hands in his front pockets. “I- Okay.”

Sanha then stood up, adjusted his pants and began walking, Minhyuk falling into step beside him. They were silent as they walked down the path to the dorm buildings, music from various parties and students talking loudly filling the air around them. Sanha walked with his hands in his pockets and eyes on the horizon; Minhyuk walked with his eyes mostly on Sanha. Even in the dim lighting, Minhyuk could tell that he was tired. He had dark circles under his eyes and his usual friendly expression was gone, replaced by exhaustion. It was the end of a long week, after all, but Minhyuk knew there was probably more to the story than just that.

Sanha let the two of them into his building, but as they reached his door, it was clear that he wasn’t going to be let in.

“Really?” Sanha groaned at the sight of the sock on the door handle. “I just want to sleep.”

“Um…” Minhyuk bit his lower lip. “We have a couch. You can- Um, you can take my bed. I’ll sleep on the couch.”

Sanha turned to Minhyuk, eyeing him with an unreadable expression. After what felt like ages, he nodded slowly, reluctantly. “I guess I don’t have a choice.”

\-- ☆ --

Minhyuk should’ve known that things wouldn’t go smoothly.

Well, the first part of the night had been fine. Minhyuk had given Sanha some pyjamas and had made himself comfortable on the couch. He had ignored the way his breath got caught in his throat at the sight of the younger boy in his clothes, just a tad too short on him, when he emerged from the bathroom. They had bid each other a good night and Minhyuk had figured that that was that.

However, when the door to their suite opened a couple hours later with a loud bang, Minhyuk jolted awake to the sight of his three friends, each one more drunk than the other, stumbling into the living room. Oh, jeez.

“Minnie!” Bin exclaimed, falling onto the couch, head just barely missing Minhyuk’s jaw. “Why are you on the couch?”

“Sanha’s in my bed.”

“Sanha!” Myungjun yelled, causing Minhyuk to wince. If the boy had managed to sleep through the slamming door, there was no way he could’ve slept through that. “Let’s go see Sanha!”

“He’s sleeping!” Minhyuk tried to warn him, but it was no use. Myungjun was already making his way to the room, Bin’s dead weight on Minhyuk preventing him from doing anything to stop his eldest friend.

“Wasn’t- You- Sanha- Are talking?” Jinwoo finally managed to get out, falling into the armchair across from Minhyuk. He curled up against the armrest, watching his friends on the couch with an amused smile.

“Yes, he’s still - Bin, _get off_ \- he’s still mad at me.”

“But he’s here?” Jinwoo’s drunken state only amplified his perpetual state of confusion.

“He needed to sleep somewhere.”

“You _like_ him,” Bin giggled, shifting around on the couch.

“Yes, he’s my friend.”

“No, he’s your soul _maaate._ ”

“So what?” Minhyuk snapped. He had had enough of Bin. “I fucked up. That’s it.”

Myungjun then yelled, a screech of delight (or possibly pain, Minhyuk couldn’t tell) , attracting the three friends’ attention. Minhyuk lifted his head to see Sanha, hair messy and a confused expression on his face, causing Minhyuk to finally lose his temper.

With a hard shove, he managed to get Bin off him, and announced,  “Come on, everyone, back to bed.” Jinwoo handled Myungjun as Minhyuk shoved Bin into his bed, Sanha just trailing behind, rubbing his eyes and climbing back to Minhyuk’s bed.

As he settled back onto the couch, pulling the blankets around him again, Minhyuk figured that he would finally have some peace and quiet.

Of course not.

Bin started singing so loud that it startled Minhyuk, causing him to fall off the couch, his phone skidding off under the coffee table. Cursing, he pushed himself up and went to open his bedroom door. However, it swung open before he could reach it, revealing a pouting Sanha who winced when Bin tried to hit yet another high note.

“I’m sorry,” Minhyuk sighed. “He’s an idiot.”

“I know.” Sanha smiled slightly, clearly amused but too sleepy to express it fully.

“Come, sleep on the couch. I’ll take the floor.”

“No, it's fine, I’m sure that my roommate is done by now…”

Minhyuk stopped Sanha from walking away, taking his hand. “It’s okay, Sanha. I’m fine with it.”

Sanha bit his bottom lip, looking down at his hand which Minhyuk was still holding, before looking up at the boy and offering him another small smile. “Okay.”

Minhyuk ignored Sanha’s blush as he led him towards the couch, only letting go when the younger boy took a seat on the couch. “Just throw those blankets onto the floor, I’ll go grab the ones you were using.”

As Sanha did so, Minhyuk walked into his room, wincing at Bin’s singing as he grabbed the sheets from his bed and quickly exited, tossing Sanha the blankets. “Here.”

He pushed the coffee table away and retrieved his phone, then began making himself a makeshift bed on the floor, grabbing one of the decorative couch cushions to use as his pillow for the night. He tried to pay Sanha as little attention as possible, still painfully aware of the tension between them, but when Sanha murmured “Good night, Minhyuk. Sleep well,” he allowed himself a surprised glance at the boy.

Sanha had his eyes closed and was curled up in Minhyuk’s sheets, and Minhyuk couldn’t help the small smile that overcame his face. As though sensing the other boy’s gaze, Sanha opened his eyes slowly, offered Minhyuk the smallest of smiles - so small that Minhyuk feels like he might’ve just imagined it - and then closed his eyes again.

Once he made himself comfortable, Minhyuk grabbed his phone and unlocked it, only to promptly drop it on his face when his body froze as he had a realisation.

That was the first time Sanha had called him by his real name.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> aaaahhahahhhhh
> 
> this fic is ending pretty soon! I've planned for it to have 16 chapters :'( let's see how it goes!  
> as always, you can find me on [tumblr](http://plastic--hearts.tumblr.com/) \- let's talk about how precious Socky is


	14. happier

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Falling back into Sanha’s rhythm was easy. It was the same as it had been, a few minor changes to the tempo but nothing Minhyuk couldn’t handle.

Minhyuk wasn't sure how to approach the situation with Sanha. They definitely weren't back to being friends, no, but the fact that Sanha has stuck around after sleeping over and had even joined Minhyuk (and Jinwoo) for breakfast had made things a bit confusing. He had expected Sanha to leave as soon as he woke up, but instead, he had joined the two of them for breakfast. All throughout their meal, he had been cracking jokes, laughing at Minhyuk’s funny anecdotes, actually giving him the _time of day._

And as if that experience wasn't puzzling enough, there he was again, sitting against the wall as Minhyuk rehearsed. As though nothing had changed, as though he was meant to be there.

Minhyuk didn't know how to process it, so he ignored the boy and kept dancing, not wanting to interrupt his routine and have to start over. Or at least, that’s how he justified it to himself.

When the routine did end and he was left with a heaving chest and the song replaying in the background, he figured it was time to acknowledge the elephant in the room.

Or rather, the Sanha in the room.

Turning to face the boy slowly, he allowed himself a smile when Sanha began clapping enthusiastically, a wide smile on his round face. “Is that a new choreography?”

Minhyuk nodded as he plopped down by Sanha - not right next to him, but still within arm’s reach - and grabbed his water bottle. “I, uh, I came up with it.”

Sanha’s eyes widened with childlike wonder, hands clasped together in front of his chest. “I didn't know you choreographed your own routines.”

Instead of answering immediately, Minhyuk took a long swig of water. The admiration in Sanha’s eyes had caught him off guard and he really wasn't sure how to process any of this.

“Yeah, sometimes,” he finally said, but didn't meet Sanha’s gaze. “This is for the showcase at the end of the semester.”

“Wow, that's soon.”

“I mean… Yeah,” Minhyuk chuckled. “But it's enough time to get it done.”

“With your skills, of course it is.”

Minhyuk tilted his head to the side. Yeah, he _really_ didn't know how to deal with any of this. “Sanha…”

“Hmm?”

“Uh…” Minhyuk’s words got caught in his throat, and clearing it barely helped. “Why… Why are you being so… Nice?”

Sanha’s curious face fell into a neutral expression, one that Minhyuk couldn’t read. “I just… Figured we could avoid an awkward conversation. I’ve forgiven you, mostly because I missed the free food.”

Minhyuk cracked a smile. He never would’ve thought he’d hear those words coming from Sanha, but he wasn’t going to question it. “That’s it?”

Sanha nodded, expression resembling that of a child trying to be serious. “Yup.”

“Well, I’ll take it.”

They exchanged wide smiles before Minhyuk got up to change out of his sweaty shirt into a clean one and pack up his stuff, finally turning off the song that had been playing on a loop.

“Wanna get food?” Sanha asked once Minhyuk swung his bag over a shoulder.

“Sure.”

“Thank god,” he sighed in relief, standing up. He picked up his own deep green bag and grinned at Minhyuk. “I’m already out of meal swipes.”

Minhyuk simply sighed, but there was nothing but fondness in the sound.

\-- ☆ --

Falling back into Sanha’s rhythm was easy. It was the same as it had been, a few minor changes to the tempo but nothing Minhyuk couldn’t handle.

What wasn’t easy was getting the image of Sanha crying out of his mind. All he wanted was to forget it happened, forget that he _let it happen,_ but he couldn’t.

And so he compensated. He didn’t protest when Sanha jokingly asked him to buy him fries or when he swiped some food off his plate. He listened and offered advice when Sanha whined about something trivial instead of chiding him or explaining to him why it really didn’t matter in the grand scheme of things. He let himself be dragged to various music events on campus - and even enjoyed himself more than he thought he would.

Of course, this wasn’t going to go unnoticed, and Minhyuk knew that. It was only a matter of time before Sanha called him out on acting weird or different from how he had been before their fallout, from how he had always been.

Surprisingly, though, Myungjun beat him to it.

Minhyuk hadn’t been expecting it. He had simply been watching something mindless on TV on a Sunday afternoon, not in the mood to be productive. Sanha was… Well, he was somewhere, doing Sanha things, so Minhyuk really didn’t have much to do.

He barely even glanced over when Myungjun sat down next to him, his attention mostly on his phone, not even the TV screen in front of them.

It was only when Myungjun spoke that Minhyuk raised his head to give him his attention.

“So, you and Sanha are friends again?”

Minhyuk nodded, not sure where the conversation was heading.

“That was quick.”

“I guess so.” Minhyuk shrugged, locking his phone. “Sanha just… Started acting like nothing had happened. I’m not gonna question it.”

Myungjun hummed, but Minhyuk could tell that he wasn’t quite satisfied with that answer. “You’re not acting like nothing has happened.”

Minhyuk blinked once, twice, then asked, “What do you mean?”

“I mean…” Myungjun sighed, leaned back a bit to really look at the other boy. “I mean, you’re… Different. Softer around the edges. Even with me and the guys.”

Minhyuk opened his mouth to correct his friend’s grammar but promptly stopped himself, knowing that it would only cause Myungjun to assume he was avoiding the topic. Which he would like to, but alas, knew he shouldn’t. “Uh, I’m just… Happier, I guess. Happy to have Sanha back.”

Myungjun grinned, lunging to envelop Minhyuk in a hug. He squeezed the boy tightly, shaking him from side to side. “Our little Rocky has feelings!”

“Don’t call me that,” Minhyuk grumbled, begrudgingly accepting the hug. “I didn’t say anything sappy.”

“Happier with Sanha,” Myungjun repeated, squeezing tighter. Minhyuk spluttered. “That’s so precious.”

“I mean, he’s my soulmate for a reason,” Minhyuk murmured, regretting the words the moment they left his lips.

Myungjun pulled away, wide eyes trailed on Minhyuk. For a moment, he didn’t speak. He simply blinked, a dumbfounded expression taking over his features.

“Soulmate,” he finally said, as though he couldn’t believe the words falling from his mouth. “You actually said it. The s-word.”

Minhyuk rolled his eyes at his dramatic friend and picked up his phone, unlocking it quickly. “I have no problem with the word.”

“But you have a problem with its implications.”

That statement caused any other argument Minhyuk might have had to disappear, instead leaving him with a vague feeling of discomfort, similar to the kind that comes when you realise you’re wrong after having argued for hours about something. Minhyuk knew he had been silent for too long, but he didn’t care.

He was happier with Sanha back. Sanha, his _soulmate,_ the one person he was convinced he would never truly _need._

“Hey…” Myungjun’s voice was softer than it had been earlier. “Sorry if I struck a nerve.”

Minhyuk shook his head, still a little lost in thought. “It’s okay. You’re not wrong.”

“You know… I didn’t like having a soulmate either.”

Now that snapped Minhyuk back to reality. “What?” he asked, bewildered. He met Myungjun’s gaze.

“Yeah. You know that Jinwoo and I have been friends forever, basically. From before the dreams started.” Minhyuk nodded and Myungjun continued. “Before the dreams, I hated the idea of having a soulmate, mostly because I hated the idea of liking someone,” Myungjun laughed. “When you’re a kid, you don’t like to think of that stuff. But as we got older, my feelings towards soulmates never really changed. It went from ‘ew, love’ to ‘how can something so random decide who I spend the rest of my life with?’. I didn’t want to feel restricted by the dreams. If I was going to fall in love, I didn’t want it to be because I dreamt of that person. When I actually started getting the dreams, it was pretty obvious whose memories they were. Hell, _I_ was in most of them. Let me tell you, it’s trippy seeing yourself in your own dreams,” Myungjun chuckled. “I knew Jinwoo was important to me, but he wasn’t my _soulmate_ , I wasn’t in love with him. At the time, I didn’t really know much about platonic soulmates, but if I did, that’s exactly what I would’ve considered him.”

Minhyuk couldn’t help but laugh at that. “How did that change?”

“Well, after a while, it was obvious that we couldn’t just keep acting as though nothing was happening.” Myungjun’s gaze wandered a little as he tried to recall the story. “Jinwoo confessed his feelings to me. Oh, he had this whole speech, it was really cute. At the time, though, I… I turned him down. Big time.”

“You what?” Minhyuk couldn’t believe what he was hearing. He was so intrigued by this new side to their story.

“Mhm,” Myungjun nodded. “I didn’t want to fall in love with my soulmate, how cliche would that have been? I didn’t want to, uh, ‘give in’ to the system. I wanted to find my own love, not because my dreams told me I loved them, but because I actually, genuinely did. And at the time, I didn’t feel anything for Jinwoo, or at least nothing I would admit. Honestly, I was really mad at him for falling for me. I tried to convince him it was the dreams skewing his emotions.”

“He didn’t listen, did he?” Minhyuk asked, although it was more of a statement than a question.

“Well, not really, but he pretended like he did. It caused a rift between us, but I didn’t realise it until I began to notice that I was appearing less and less in the dreams. That’s when I realised how far apart we had grown, and I realised that it was my own fault. I still didn’t want him to be in love with me, but I figured that my life was missing something without him, so I actively worked towards staying close to him.” Myungjun paused, a small smile appearing on his face. “And somewhere along the line, I realised I needed him to a much deeper level than I would need a friend. I needed him in my life, I needed him to grow beside me, for us to grow together.”

“You realised you liked him.”

Myungjun nodded. “But more than that, I realised that you need your soulmate in ways that you don’t always understand at first. I love Jinwoo so much, I love him with all my heart, but even if we were just friends, I think I would value him just as much. Your soulmate… You develop a special bond with them, obviously, no matter the nature of your relationship with them.”

Minhyuk nodded slowly, signifying that he understood what the older boy was telling him. “I guess… I get that now.”

Myungjun smiled but didn’t say anything else, silently encouraging him to keep talking.

“I am happier with Sanha around,” Minhyuk said, unable to stop the smallest of smiles from tugging at his lips. “It would be dumb of me to _not_ accept him as my soulmate, at this point.”

“Still strictly platonic?”

Minhyuk glared at Myungjun before smacking him with a couch pillow. _“Obviously._ Not every soulmate story has to be a romantic one.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yikes, it's been over a month since the last update. I don't know why this chapter gave me so much trouble. I re-wrote this at least three times and I'm still not fully satisfied with the outcome, but I suppose it'll do.  
> thank you all for sticking around and I promise I won't wait this long to update again!!
> 
> hmu on [tumblr](http://plastic--hearts.tumblr.com), I'm inactive as heck but I'll always answer messages!


	15. maybe

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Despite, you know, all that drama, at the end of the day my soulmate is still my best friend, so what more could I ask for?”

Minhyuk squinted, eyeing Sanha carefully. He looked him up and down, twice, before finally meeting his gaze.

“That’s my shirt.”

Sanha looked down at the green shirt, then looked back up, a look of realisation on his face. “Ah, so that’s where I got it.”

Minhyuk raised an eyebrow before stepping out of the doorway and closing the door to his suite behind him. “How did you end up with it?” he asked, following Sanha down the hallway and out the building. 

“You gave it to me, remember? The night I slept on your couch.”

“Oh. I expected to get it back at some point.”

“Oh,” Sanha said, pausing in his tracks for a split-second before falling back into pace beside Minhyuk. “I’ll wash it and give it back to you.”

“Do you like it?”

“Yeah, it’s comfortable.” 

“Uh, you can keep it,” Minhyuk muttered, too low for Sanha to hear him. He then cleared his throat, looked up at his friend for a fleeting second, and repeated himself.

“Really?” Sanha’s face broke into a grin. “Thanks!”

“Just don’t spill anything on it,” he mumbled in response, eyes on the cafeteria doors coming up in front of them. He didn’t know why it was so hard to look at Sanha at that very moment.

\-- ☆ --

“Minhyuk?”

At the sound of his name, Minhyuk looked up to find Sanha already looking at him,  a curious expression on his face. “Hmm?” Minhyuk answered, his mouth full.

“Are you okay?”

Minhyuk frowned, swallowing the food in his mouth before answering. “Yeah, why?”

“You haven’t said anything since we sat down.”

“I don’t talk very much in general, Sanha,” he replied, an amused smile finding its way to his lips easily. 

Sanha sighed dramatically, rolling his eyes. “Where’s your head been? I’ve been talking to you for the past five minutes and I don’t think you were listening.”

“Uh…” Minhyuk scrambled to think of an answer. He didn’t have a reason to not listen to Sanha - his mind was just foggy, only images of the smiling boy in front of him cutting through the haze. “My new choreography.”

“The one for the showcase?”

“Yeah.”

Sanha smiled widely. “You shouldn’t worry so much about it. It already looks amazing. It’ll take you no time to perfect it.”

Minhyuk nodded, returning the smile shyly. “Thanks, Sanha.”

When the younger boy didn’t reply, Minhyuk looked back up to see him wearing a surprised expression. “Are you okay?”

“You actually took the compliment,” Sanha stated, as if it was the most unusual thing in the world. “Without trying to deny it.”

“Is that a bad thing?”

“No! Absolutely not.” Sanha shook his head vehemently. “I’m glad, actually. It’s about time.”

Rolling his eyes fondly, Minhyuk simply smiled.

“Hey! Don’t roll your eyes at me, I’m serious!”

“Okay, okay,” Minhyuk laughed. “What were you talking about before I zoned out?”

“Oh, nothing serious. I was just talking about a conversation I had with this girl in my science class about soulmates.”

That got Minhyuk to frown in curiosity. “Soulmates?”

“Mhm,” Sanha nodded, taking a sip of his drink. “We had been talking about soulmates in class and how science has yet to fully understand it, you know,” he waved a hand carelessly to emphasize his point. “Anyways, she just struck up a conversation with me randomly - well, not really, we’re friends, we talk a lot in that class since we don’t ever understand anything. But yeah, she started talking about her soulmate dreams, and how she had hoped she would meet her soulmate in college but so far she hasn’t had any luck.”

“That’s a pity,” Minhyuk commented.

“Yeah, I know right! She’s so nice, too. I hope she finds her soulmate soon. Anyways, I talked to her about you after that.”

“Oh.” Minhyuk wasn’t quite sure what to say to that. They hadn’t really discussed the notion of being soulmates - Minhyuk didn’t know what they could discuss, honestly. “Good things, I hope,” he joked, halfhearted.

To that, Sanha shrugged. “Mostly, yeah,” he answered honestly before smiling. “Despite, you know, all that drama, at the end of the day my soulmate is still my best friend, so what more could I ask for?”

In the moment, Minhyuk couldn’t help but smile at those words. But when he went over them, much later that day, his stomach twisted in an unpleasant way. Chalking it up to having hurt Sanha in the process of getting to this point in their friendship, Minhyuk pushed the thoughts aside. He had bigger things to worry about, and besides, the past was in the past, wasn’t it? There wasn’t much else he could do at this point.

But as the night progressed and he sunk deeper and deeper into his thoughts, the twisting feeling didn’t leave. Instead, it blossomed into discomfort and what felt like hints of disappointment, which made absolutely no sense. 

With a sigh, he turned onto his side and faced Bin’s bed, thankfully finding the other boy awake, his phone screen illuminating his face.

“Bin,” he hissed, loud enough for his roommate to hear him.

“Hm?” he answered, not bothering to look away from his phone.

Minhyuk sighed softly once more, before murmuring, “I think I still feel guilty about the whole Sanha thing.”

He watched Bin take his glasses off and place them on the dresser by his bed before locking his phone, shrouding the room in near-complete darkness. “I mean… It was a big deal.”

Minhyuk huffed. “I know.”

“Why do you say that though?”

“I just… Every time he brings up soulmates, I just feel weirdly uncomfortable. As though I… As if something’s wrong with it.”

“Are you still against him being your soulmate?”

“No, you know that’s not the case,” Minhyuk sighed, rolling onto his back to stare up at their ceiling.

“Did something specific happen today?”

“Yeah, Sanha was talking about some conversation he had about soulmates. And then he said something like “oh, despite everything, my soulmate is now my best friend, and that’s what matters.” Wait, no,” Minhyuk gestured with his hand as though Bin could see him. “He said “what more could I ask for?”.”

They were silent for a moment before Bin spoke up again. “Maybe… Min, don’t freak out, but maybe… It’s not guilt that you’re feeling.”

“What do you suggest it is then, genius?”

Bin sighed. “Maybe… You’re more fond of Sanha than you let on.”

“What do you mean?” Minhyuk asked suspiciously, knowing the answer but wanting to hear it from his roommate directly.

“You  _ know  _ what I mean, don’t play dumb,” Bin chided him, a hint of a smile in his voice. “Myungjun told me what you told him.”

Minhyuk rolled his eyes. “Of course he did.”

“Min, I’m serious though.” He could hear Bin shuffling in his sheets for a moment before he continued speaking. “Maybe you like Sanha.”

“Maybe I would’ve figured it out if that was the case,” Minhyuk countered. 

“Maybe not, though. You’ve spent so long convincing yourself that you guys are platonic soulmates that you’re not going to see the signs.”

“Bin,” Minhyuk sighed wearily. “I appreciate that you’re a hopeless romantic-”

“No you don’t!” Bin interrupted with a laugh, causing Minhyuk to laugh too.

“Okay, no, I really don’t,” he agreed, still laughing. “But I don’t think that’s the case here with Sanha and I.”

“I’m just saying, don’t close your mind to the possibility,” Bin singsonged, before nearly shrieking as one of Minhyuk’s pillows hit him on the chest. “Fucking hell, Minhyuk! It’s so dark in here, I thought that was a fucking spider or something!”

“A spider?!” Minhyuk repeated, laughing so hard he had to clap a hand on his mouth to keep him from waking their suitemates. “Bin, what kind of spiders do you think exist around here?!”

“Anything is possible!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> aaaAAAH has it really been 3 months since the last update  
> if you've stuck around since then, thank you so much!! I've had a lot on my plate lately - this summer break doesn't really feel like much of a break, tbh. I definitely want to say that this fic will be finished soon, but who knows? :'(
> 
> as always, here's my [tumblr](http://plastic--hearts.tumblr.com/), although I am hella inactive on there too


	16. hands

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “You’re wrong, Bin. There’s no way I like Sanha. You’ve got me questioning my own sanity more than anything. I just want to be able to spend time with him without thinking about whether or not everything I do can be interpreted as something romantic!”

Minhyuk slammed the door to his dorm room. “Dammit, Moon Bin!”

His roommate, who had been sitting at his desk and working on an essay, jumped in surprise. He pulled the headphones off his head before shooting Minhyuk the most confused look he could possibly master. “What did I do?! I cleaned up after myself when I ate in the common room!”

“That’s not what I’m talking about!” Minhyuk exclaimed. His bag slipped off his shoulder onto a pile of old t-shirts and he sighed, ignoring it in favour of flopping onto his bed, face up.

“Then… What am I missing?”

“You got this stupid idea in my head! About me liking Sanha!”

Bin was silent for a moment, and then burst into laughter.

“Shut up!” Minhyuk yelled again, pushing himself off the bed to chuck a dirty t-shirt at Bin. “It’s been a whole fucking week, and every time I see Sanha I find myself over-analyzing everything! Because of you!” 

“Listen, you wouldn’t be doing that if my suggestion didn’t have at least  _ some _ truth.” Bin shrugged, about to slip his headphones back on when Minhyuk groaned again.

“You’re  _ wrong, _ Bin. There’s no way I like Sanha,” Minhyuk grumbled. He fell into his own desk chair, sitting the wrong way round, and rested his chin on top of the backrest. “You’ve got me questioning my own sanity more than anything. Like, 'oh, wow, Sanha has a nice smile. Wait, no, thinking that is wrong. But wait, why can’t I think my  _ strictly platonic friend _ has a nice smile?' You’ve ruined it!” Minhyuk rambled. “I just want to be able to spend time with him without thinking about whether or not everything I do can be interpreted as something romantic!”

“Do you ever feel the random urge to hug Sanha?” Bin asked.

Minhyuk frowned, shook his head. “Everyone has the random urge to hug Sanha. He’s just cute - and I do  _ not _ mean that in a romantic way,” Minhyuk stated firmly upon seeing Bin’s thrilled expression.

“Do you ever want to hold his hand?”

“No! Bin, I  _ don’t _ like Sanha!”

Bin then shrugged and turned back to his work. “Okay, you don’t like Sanha.”

Minhyuk frowned, opened his mouth to argue then quickly shut it, choosing to huff in annoyance instead. “Exactly. Thank you.”

\-- ☆ --

Usually, Minhyuk and Sanha reserved the weekends (or at least Saturdays) to do absolutely nothing. Their weeks were busy enough that they deserved a day of rest. However, as the end of the year crept up on them, they realised they couldn’t afford to take a day off, no matter how much they wanted to. 

So that’s how Minhyuk found himself standing at the door of a practice room, hair still damp with sweat from dance rehearsal, waiting for Sanha to finish up with his song so that they could get dinner together.

It was a song Minhyuk had heard many times, but enjoyed nevertheless. The melody was soft and sounded rather simple, but judging by how many hours Sanha had put into it, it probably wasn’t all that easy to play.

His eyes flitted from Sanha’s face to the sheet music laid out on the piano keys in front of him, and then he watched as Sanha’s hand trailed over the neck of his guitar.

And he gulped, probably loud enough for Bin to hear back at their dorms, loud enough for him to shoot him a knowing smirk.

Sanha had nice hands, for lack of a better word. They looked delicate and gentle, carefully moving over the fretboard to get in chord formation.

Minhyuk kinda wanted to hold them. Just kinda.

He sighed, shook his head. There was no way these thoughts were coming naturally. Bin had gotten this idea in his head, and now he was doomed. He just needed to ignore them.

Sanha, finally, put his guitar down and began packing up, slinging the bag on his back before locking the door to the practice room and falling into step beside Minhyuk. As he chattered on cheerfully about how excited he was to perform these songs, Minhyuk couldn’t focus on his words. He could only focus on how close their hands were swinging, on how his knuckles brushed against Sanha’s every now and again, on how easy it would be to just…

He lifted his hand, casually wrapped it around the strap of his worn-down red bag. There, problem solved.

 

Or maybe not. All through dinner, he couldn’t stop his gaze from floating towards Sanha’s hand gripping his chopsticks, or coming up to hide his mouth when he laughed a little too loudly.

When he finally,  _ finally _ , made it back to his dorm, he immediately stormed into his room and chucked a pillow at an unsuspecting Bin, who yelped, jumping up from his spot on his bed.

“What was that for?!” Bin whined, throwing it back at Minhyuk who caught it easily.

“For everything!” Minhyuk exclaimed, then buried his face in the pillow. “I think I do wanna hold Sanha’s hand,” he then said, his tiny voice catching in the fabric of his pillowcase. 

“What was that?” Bin asked.

Minhyuk lifted his head from the pillow, grumbled “Sanha’s hands,” then buried it again.

“I have no idea what you could possibly mean by that.”

“I want to hold them!” Minhyuk sighed with exasperation, letting the pillow fall to the ground. “And it’s  _ your _ fault!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this chapter is pretty short but this fic is reaching its end soon! hopefully the next update will be as quick as this one was!
> 
> as always, here's my [tumblr](http://plastic--hearts.tumblr.com/), and my [twitter](https://twitter.com/vicesandcurses) cause I'm a little more active on there nowadays!


	17. finally

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Well, have fun! The suite’s empty, by the way," Bin replied, amused eyes fixed on Minhyuk’s death glare. “Jinwoo and Myungjun are at the movies, and I’m going to have dinner with Dongmin. I guess it’s a date night for everyone.”

“Sanha, why do you always take so long?” Minhyuk whined, leaning against the doorframe to his friend’s practice room.

“Just a minute! A minute and I’ll be done!” Sanha replied, voice equally as whiny.

Minhyuk huffed, and was about to complain some more when his phone vibrated in his pocket. Pulling it out, he frowned at the name that has popped up on his screen.

 

**_Dongmin_ **

_ So Bin told me something interesting... _

 

**_Minhyuk_ **

_ Please tell me it’s not what I think it is _

 

**_Dongmin_ **

_ （＾ω＾） _

 

**_Minhyuk_ **

_ I’m going to kill him _

 

**_Dongmin_ **

_ Wait Minhyuk no _

_ Listen, I just want to talk about Sanha. _

 

**_Minhyuk_ **

_ There’s rly nothing to talk about _

 

**_Dongmin_ **

_ He’s a big fan of little romantic gestures, like surprising him with his favourite dessert, or randomly taking his hand. Things like that. _

 

**_Minhyuk_ **

_ It bothers me that you type w perfect grammar _

 

**_Dongmin_ **

_ Don't deflect. _

 

**_Minhyuk_ **

_ Sir yes sir _

_ Dongmin I really don't like Sanha in that way _

_ Besides why are we assuming he would want me to do these things _

 

**_Dongmin_ **

_ Alright, I believe you. But if you do want to hold his hand, I know he wouldn't be against it. _

 

**_Minhyuk_ **

_ What does that mean _

 

**_Dongmin_ **

_ Gtg!! _

 

**_Minhyuk_ **

_ Oh now the abbreviations come out _

 

Minhyuk sighed, pocketing his phone once more. He couldn’t believe Bin would throw him under the bus like that, especially while knowing fully well that it was something Minhyuk would rather take to his grave than have people know about.

“You’re sighing so loud, you’re shaking the whole room,” Sanha teased. 

Minhyuk looked up to see him  _ finally _ swinging his green bag onto his shoulder and heading towards the doorway, and he shook his head. “It wasn’t that bad.”

“Whatever you say,” Sanha singsonged, almost childishly. It took him another minute to lock the practice room door, and then the two friends were off to Minhyuk’s suite to play video games and watch movies until they fell asleep on the couch. It would be a well-deserved break for the two of them. 

Naturally, though, Minhyuk’s brain wouldn’t let him walk beside his best friend in peace. It kept helpfully providing him with the information Dongmin had given him every time Sanha’s hands brushed his or they bumped into each other because of Sanha’s nonlinear way of walking. He felt himself growing more and more annoyed, and most of that was directed towards himself (part of it was towards Bin and Dongmin, obviously).

So he reached a hand out and took Sanha’s.

He ignored the way Sanha abruptly stopped talking about the movie he wanted them to watch that night and the blush that was creeping across both their cheeks, and instead said, “Yeah, that sounds like a good one.”

“Uh-”

“Maybe we could also watch a horror movie and ask Bin to join us,” Minhyuk continued, not giving Sanha a chance to talk. “He hates them, but he deserves it.”

“Min-”

“As long as we don’t watch a romcom, I’m good.” Minhyuk nodded, his hand tightening its grip, but he had yet to face Sanha. “Maybe we could order pizza. It’s been a while.”

Sanha seemed to have gotten the hint, because the next thing he said was, “As long as you don’t get pineapples on it again this time.”

Minhyuk laughed, feeling the knot in his chest begin to unravel. He didn’t even realise how tense he had been until he began to relax. “Pineapples deserve to be on pizza, Sanha. I’m sorry your palate isn’t refined.”

“Sweet and salty shouldn’t go together and that’s the tea.”

Minhyuk spluttered, laughing even harder. “You look so serious! No one should look that serious when saying that!”

“Saying what?” he asked, genuinely confused.

“‘And that’s the tea’,” Minhyuk repeated, barely able to get the words past his lips before he was laughing again.

“Shut up,” Sanha whined, smacking his chest with his free hand. “I really hate you.”

Despite his words, though, Sanha didn’t let go of Minhyuk’s hand.

 

That is, until they ran into the bane of Minhyuk’s existence.

Minhyuk froze, watching as his roommate turned on his heels at the door of their suite, having just locked it. He didn’t have time to pull his hand away from Sanha’s before Bin’s gaze had landed on them, and his friendly smile turned into a mischievous one.

“Hey guys,” Bin greeted, a little too cheerfully. “What are you guys up to?”

Sanha replied before Minhyuk could snap at him, much to his chagrin. “We’re going to get some pizza, watch a movie or two. Just chill.”

“That sounds like a good time,” Bin replied, amused eyes fixed on Minhyuk’s death glare. “Well, have fun! The suite’s empty, by the way.”

“Oh, what are you all up to?”

“Jinwoo and Myungjun are at the movies, and I’m going to have dinner with Dongmin.” Bin shrugged. “I guess it’s a date night for everyone.”

If Minhyuk hadn’t been holding Sanha’s hand, he probably would’ve lunged at his roommate by now. 

Sanha didn’t seem to pick up on the taunt, simply smiling in return. “Have fun! Tell Dongmin I said hi.”

“Yeah, tell Dongmin I’ll fight him the next time I see him,” Minhyuk added, tacking on a falsely sweet smile.

“I’ll be sure to let him know you’re thankful,” Bin teased, and sauntered off quickly before Minhyuk could get another word in. “Good night!”

“Night, Bin!” Sanha called behind him while Minhyuk just sighed. He knew he would be in for an earful the second Sanha left their dorm.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sdfjsk I guess we're finally getting somewhere
> 
> as always, here's my [twitter](https://twitter.com/VicesAndCurses) and [tumblr](http://plastic--hearts.tumblr.com/), feel free to hmu anytime


End file.
